1. This is a story 2. I do not care if you think it should be in fan fiction as this is not related to anything I am a "fan" of. Nor is it fiction; it's more like scifi horror. 3. Cool. Let's begin. 4. Standard rule as anything else I've ever written on here: if you post on this thread I WILL post on your wall when I update, regardless of what your addition to this thread says. 5. I'll update when I can. Probably consistently the first couple days then whenever. ---- The room is painted a sterile white and books sit in tall, haphazard piles around the room. A man wearing a headset sits in a plastic, hard-backed chair in the center of it all. In front of him is a microphone and a camera. The camera stand is bolted to the typical hospital flooring; white tile with no scuffs or cracks. The whole area is clean beyond average sanitary standards. “Is this thing even on,” he says loudly and taps the camera’s lens. His nails are bitten down to the quick. “Yes, please refrain from touching the lens.” A voice comes through his headset. It’s faint and fuzzy, but has a distinctly middle eastern accent. The man sits back in the chair. His face is something out of a horror film, all open sores and fresh blood. A black, pirate-esque eyepatch covers one eye. The other is milky with blindness and rolls around at its own will. His whole body is dangerously thin and angular with his elbows and knees sticking out of his robe at odd angles. He wears thick hospital socks. The visible parts of his arms are mottled with almost black veins. “I’m Patient 236. I’m on day fifteen of detox.” Reed pauses and pulls off his hat. He doesn’t have hair and instead coarse-looking, purple and yellow feathers stick up every which way. “My feathers are growing back in brighter than before and my skin is healing. I have skin again. But I still have nightmares.” Reed stares blankly through the lens like he can see into another world. Darkness passes through his eyes which are milky with cataracts. “Tell us about the nightmares, 236,” the voice is more curious than demanding. “They’re terrible. I’m back on the farm all over again,” Reed keeps staring blindly through the camera. “I’m back on the farm and The Moric has me in the fields. Fertilizing the crops. I’m constantly pushing the wheelbarrow between trees. Constantly dumping bodies into the ground. And every single time it’s her. It’s her. It’s her. It’s her. Her. Her. Her.” “236.” “Her. Her. Her. Her.” “Who is her?” “Her. It’s her. It’s her.” Reed falls forward, his mouth pressed against the camera. “It’s always been her.” He falls completely silent except for quick breaths. His eye is staring off at nothing and sweat is beading on his hairline. “Get a nurse in there ASAP,” says a new voice through the headset. This one has a certain singsong quality to it, like she actually cares about the outcome of the situation at hand. The static from the headset is gone and replaced with a steady, you-have-been-disconnected-from-the-call beep. A nurse slams the door open. They push Patient 236 back into his seat, strapping him there with a zip tie across his chest and another around his wrists behind the chair. She presses her fingers to his thin neck where veins are prominent. “Not again,” she sighs. She closes her eyes tightly for a moment, her whole body taunt and shaking. A single tear rolls down her face. She picks up the headset and reconnects the call, “He’s gone.” “Okay, Susan,” the middle eastern voice answers. “We’ll bring in another one tomorrow.” “Why? What’s the point of all of this?” “We need to find her. She is the key.” Susan ends the call. “She’s the one. The one we need. Blah blah blah. Do they have any idea what a mess this is to clean up time after time,” she mocks them, putting a black trash bag over the chair and body as she does. “We can still hear you, Susan.” Susan laughs and pushes the chair onto its side with a loud thump before turning off the camera.
?so much words...next story can you start off where it grabs the readers attention? Example: I run through the woods as I try to escape the horror that chases after me. Autumn trees everywhere as far as the eye can see. That's how I started my book off.
Thanks guys. 1. Books have words 2. I know things like action catch the reader's eye better, but sometimes there simply isn't much action to start with. I assure you other chapters will start with more eye-catching things. Not every story starts on a fast note. Im off to bed.
Something like a Summary: A group of people interrogate a farmer that looks like a zombie about a girl. He later goes into some sort of shock and soon after dies. The group of people are still determined to find any information about a girl who is the 'key' to something. Skimmed it and that's what I got.
Here's the thing. If you aren't into reading stories then don't. Do you have any idea how offensive it is for a writer to write something and hope to have it read in its entirety, then have someone ask for some sort of summary/attention grabber before the actual story? It's a slap in the face. Rude as hell. When most of the thirsty riff raff that plays this game read the 50 shades series were they treated to a sex scene before the book began? No. And good thing too, wouldn't want you all to burst too fast. Oh and scifi is still fiction. Has fiction in the name. lmao. You'll probably get shit for this, since people love to complain about stories not being in ff, but it's a glorious thing when one doesn't care, isnt it? Keep going I say. People love to post all sorts of nonsense here so I don't see how this is any worse. Actually it's probably better.