Simple question. But first.... Please don’t derail the thread. I genuinely want to know what other people think. This has nothing to do with someone’s personal life including mine. And please don’t make it personal and give us a life story. Question: What are things that a parent should or could do in order to be well informed about their child’s mental state or state of mind without being too aggressive or overbearing (in a way) in wanting to know what their child is thinking? I’m not a parent, but recent occurrence around me kind of caused my thoughts to flow. Again, just looking for opinions.
Not always, some people keep their mental state hidden in fear of being judged by their parents/friends.
I mean I guess. Not necessarily failed, but didn’t do all they could have to know. But some parents are manipulated by their kids. Kids can easily keep their emotions and thoughts away from their parents. So for a parent to not know, couldn’t necessarily be their fault if they had no idea whether the kid had an issue or not.
And most likely not hiding their thoughts tbh. It takes a ginormous amount of courage for some kids to even share their thoughts with their parents. Thoughts like “They’d never understand” or “they won’t believe me” can cause a child to completely drop the idea of informing their parents of any issue. And not just issues either btw.
Usually journals and diaries are meant to be private thoughts and reading them would kind of be an invasion of their privacy and could break their trust.? Yes, they’re the parent, but the child should get some kind of privacy. Anyways, It’s sort of hard to actually know what’s mentally going inside of a child’s mind since children are very good at keeping that “I’m fine” face and attitude. Kids are also often too scared to admit to personal issues that may be going on at school or with friends, especially to parents since parents tend to overreact lol. Some things that a parent could do, without being too overbearing, is just monitoring what they’re child is doing on social media, what kind of friends they’re hanging out with, what they’re doing if they’re out with friends, etc. I mean no kid really wants a helicopter parent, so giving your child some alone time may also help. But if that parent is really worried about their child’s mental state, then by all means, they should intervene and talk to their child. Perhaps the worst thing that a parent can do is totally be oblivious if they’re child’s mental state is unhealthy. It may sound cliche, but promoting love and positivity in the household is also extremely beneficial. Yeah. That was long, sorry.
Parents whom are manipulated by their children are obviously failures. It is your job to know your kid. If you don't, you have failed at your job. And you've failed your kids.
Also don’t agree with this. A parent isn’t the only influence to their child. My influence may not be a strong as someone else’s
Sit down with your child every single day and talk to them like they are a person. Let them know they can come to you with anything and the first time they do be calm about your tone of voice and body language will make a child shut down.
Agreed, just not with the “every single day” part lol. You don’t need to sit down and talk to your EVERY day, just every now and then. But being a person that your child feels comfortable talking to helps. Parents usually think the worst and freak out if they’re child is telling them any type of bad news. Children just want someone they can talk to and someone who’s willing to listen and be a friend. Parents sometimes need to come out of “adult mode” and try to see from the child’s point of view.
Again, doesn’t make sense to me. Children are the greatest at keeping their emotions to themselves, and hiding their emotions, especially when it comes to their parents. If a child succeeded in not showing me any sign of him/her struggling, how could I know? It’s not a matter of being successful or being a failure as a parent.
Kids can't hide anything from a good parent. Your parents have known you since before you were born. You grew inside your mother. You jumped and kicked whenever she ate your favorite food or turned on a song that you liked. They've watched you grow up. They know your friends, hobbies, school schedule, work schedule, what you watch and the music you listen to. They know when you aren't acting right, they only let you get away with it if they don't care. And parents who don't care have failed to do their job as a parent.
Can you give me a blunt answer to what a good parent is? I was gonna say that i greatly think my parents to be good parents. They were wonderful figures and had an influence on my life in various ways, but even when I was a teen, they didn’t know everything about me. Was gonna say that, but then youd might’ve said something along the lines of “they weren’t good parents” so I’d just like to know what your definition is.
Just keep an eye on them, their behavior, and what they look at online, don't be brash about it, be passive and just oversee what's flowing through their mind.
Your parents knew more about what you were doing than you think. I can assure you of that. Sometimes we let kids think they are getting away with things, so we don't have to reveal our sources and methods. A good parent is involved in their kids life and cares about them. Monitors what they are doing and who they are with. A good parent is not your friend. They are better than a friend. They are harder on you than your friends and expect more of you than friends do because they know your potential. A parent has a vested interest in helping you to become the best person you can be. A friend can ditch you at anytime, they have no vested interest in your future. Kids think parents are to hard on them sometimes. A good parent has to be sometimes. We all need redirected from time to time. We all need to hear things we don't want to sometimes. And it's our job as parents to do just that. To make you aware of your flaws and help you find methods to overcome them.