I've been writing a love story for the past couple of months and I want your input to make it better. I'll post the first chapter later on tonight.
Dear Diary, 'Well it’s been about 5 and a ½ months since I’ve been with John. I really wish he was here with me in Australia. I’ve gotten to know him really well. I still remember how it all began. When I first talked to him, he was just any guy. I never thought we’ll get so serious in such short time.' As I continue to write in my diary, my mom eerily comes into my room and starts reading it. Just as I put my diary down I turn around and I’m shocked to see her standing there, reading over my shoulder. I think of something to say to her but she beats me to it. “Amelia, would you like to explain this to me”? She looks at me waiting for an explanation. I try to talk and I could feel my mouth moving but no words come out. I cover my face with my hands, trying to hide myself. Mom says something but I can’t understand anything as if she was speaking an alien language. She walks out of my room. I feel like my perfect world has scattered like a fragile glass vase falling from such great heights. My mom walks backs into my room carrying a glass of water. She sits at the edge of my bed while she tried to comfort me. Why am I so scared? She hasn’t even said anything. I knew I should’ve told her about John when it all started. Is it too late? Can I still tell her? “Amelia.” She pauses for a moment. My mom, Nicole Simpson, is always relaxed and understanding. The wrinkles on her face mean nothing to her. She has dark brown hair with what looks like are light gray highlights. I always wished I got my mom’s eyes. Whenever I look into them it feels like I’m on a beach and a thunderstorm is approaching. My mom is about 5 feet with a beach body and an amazing tan that stays all year long. I look a lot like my dad. I have his sea green eyes with dirty blond hair identical to his. I have my mom’s amazing tan. My family lives 10 minutes away from the beach so we spend most of our time tanning while my brothers surf to impress the hotties. I used to spend all my time with my family until the beginning of August. As I’m lost in my thoughts my mom touches my shoulder gesturing me to tell her something. I knew that I’m going to be in trouble anyways so it’s now or never. I look at my mom and pick up my diary and my iPhone and I start from the beginning.
Ill be waiting for the next update cool story i really liked the end it left me hangin i was like I WANT MOOORREE lol
End of July It was a hot, boring mid-summer day. I was actually tired of the beach by this point so I was sitting in the living room watching Titanic. I could smell the butter from the popcorn fill the air. My little brother came bouncing down the stairs like a basketball bouncing on the court. He grabs his worn-out, red and black surfboard but I grab his shoulder before he could run out the white, french doors. Over the summer, I was in-charge of Jonathan and my parents actually paid me so I had to watch him while they were at work. I walked back to the microwave because the beeping was getting on my nerves. I took the popcorn out and said, “Where do you think you’re going?” Jonathan looked at me and pointed to his board and answered back in an annoyed tone, “To the beach of course.” “No you’re not”. I picked up my phone and dialed mom’s number. I handed Jonathan the phone. “Argue with mom if you want. I don’t have time for this. You’re ruining my movie”. He groaned and fell back on the coach and picked up the remote and started to flip through the channels. “You ruin everything for me. You’re no fun”. He continued to complain while I sat down next to him. Jonathan’s my younger brother. He has light blue eyes with beach blonde hair. He’s the ordinary surfer boy. Since he’s two years younger than me, he’s still treated like a baby. “Who messaged you?” Jonathan asked me as he grabbed the popcorn bowl out of my hand. “What the heck are you talking about?” I looked confused and puzzled. Jonathan picked up the phone and handed it to me. “See.” He said while pointing to my phone. I snatched my phone out of his hand. The notification said “Facebook: John Knight has added you as a friend.” I didn’t recognize the name so I started flipping through his pictures. I wasn’t in the mood to talk to him, so I just put my phone away, snatched the remote from Jonathan and returned to my movie.