Opinions please.

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Vice, Apr 25, 2012.

  1. I have started writing a little tale earlier today. And all I got was this:

    As the desert storm continued to rage across the land, four silhouettes emerged from the shadows out of the alleyways. They each ran across the town to escape their pursuers.
    "Stop!! Thief!!" was heard all around town followed by laughter.
    Then all of a sudden, everything went silent....
    Soon everything was engulfed in flames and everythimg was destroyed. Screams were heard as the fires became fiercer and stronger. The only thing remained was the ashes left by innocent people and the scent of a fire. The firefox and the phoenix have spared nothing in their battle.

    Twenty years later...

    A young man walks alone in the desert guided by his sand falcon. Only 11km to the town of Anseio and rarely food left for the trip. As he trudged through the sand, faint footsteps could be heard nearby. He turns around to see a horserider as it gallops his way. As soon as the rider nears, they begin to slow down.

    Can I get some opinions please? I maybe some idea's would be nice. Lol thanks. Much appreciated.
     
  2. What? .-.
     
  3. It's another person idiotic "catchphrase".


    I like your story._.
     
  4. that's cute 
     
  5. I like 
     
  6. Its just the beginning. I will try to include some humour as well.
     
  7. If the finished story gets like enough, i'll make another chapter
     
  8. I guess I'll take the time to read it because everybody else did. 
     
  9. I'm very picky with books, but I liked it. It's kind of suspenseful and stuff. 
     
  10. Will continue tomorrow
     
  11. Great story