._. Yaoi? Dx Wait no. COMEDY! ---- Gym Class Heroes, Cupid's Chokehold ---- 'Take a look at my girlfriend She's the only one I got Not much of a girlfriend I never seem to get a lot It's been some time since we last spoke This is gonna sound like a bad joke But momma I fell in love again It's safe to say I have a new girlfriend And I know it sounds so old But cupid got me in a chokehold And I'm afraid I might give in Towels on the mat my white flag is wavin' I mean she even cooks me pancakes And Alka Seltzer when my tummy aches If that ain't love then I don't know what love is We even got a secret handshake And she loves the music that my band makes I know I'm young but if I had to choose her or the sun I'd be one nocturnal son of a gun—' ---- "Oh my God, dude, you HAVE to look at this!! "More nudes?" "FUCK. NO." Dimitri beckoned me over with the flick of his wrist, demanding I get my puny ass over there. "Look at this totally new song I found online, Ethan!!" "You're getting so carried away with this 'new image' thing..." "What can I say? It's totes hip." He pointed to his 3DS, which, of course, is fucking awesome. And at that vulnerable moment where I lost total control of my own movements, he takes advantage of me and forces the headphones onto my head. "SMELLS LIKE TEEN SP—" "KURT COBAIN OMFG—" "NIRVANAAAA" "God bless his soul." We were crying tears of joy as we clinged to each other, desperate for eachother's warmth and comfort. Soon after that, we headed to the café in awkward silence. ---- "What.... DO... YOU... WANT..." Antoinette was slightly hunched, her black and red pigtails bouncing as she slurs out a response in a British accented monotone voice. Wow. I didn't expect it to be Depression McNugget in here, considering the fact that the banner in front of the store said 'CHEERYIOS'. "TWO CHOCOLATE SHAKES AND A CHOO CHOO DELIGHT!" Just as I was about to say Green Ham and Eggs... "Oh, and a pepsi. My delicate metabolism refuses anything else." "Green Ham and Eggs!" ---- We sat in silence. The meatloaf in a train shape was disturbing. Dimitri was biting off parts of it, stating that it made it look like a much more cooler version of a regular choo choo. As for me? I just pushed away my plate of green food. When I said green, I didn't mean it QUITE literally. "Is this... Er... Edible?" "DOES... THIS... LOOK... EDIBLE... TO YOU?!" Antoinette smashed her face into the food, the flies now attacking her hair instead of the rotting meat. "... Er... Trick question?" ... And that was how we got kicked out of the café, with Choo Choo delight inside our boxers and Dimitri's Pepsi Shake freezing our penises off. Who knew Antoinette was both a professional wrestler and an angsty poet? ---- I do it for the lulz.