my thoughts :)

My mama always used to tell me that family is the only thing that matters and I didn’t want to believe that but I’m starting to learn that friendship is for temporary entertainment. just people to pass time with who deep down don’t care enough to see you through the hard times and the tears. They’re there for the laughs and partying and gossiping but when things get ugly they mind their own business. I’ve learned that no matter how much effort, money, time you put into a friend, if they’re a bîtch, they’ll stay a bîtch.

 

I thought I was good at judging people’s character and I’d like to think I still am. but sometimes I allow my naiveness and fool myself into thinking that maybe just maybe I can force a situation to turn out the way I Dream it to be. Ignoring the 99% probability that this is toxic for me and I know I’m burying myself in a ditch but I’m hoping there’s a pot of gold down there. But pot of golds don’t exist in real life.

 

My momma is the strongest person I know and I’m waiting for the day where I’ll find the courage to tell her that and to admit to my mistakes. But for now our relationship continues on its current path.

 

I think I’m searching for someone else to love me enough to make up for my lack of self love. But it’s true when they say your happiness has to come from yourself, you can’t depend on anyone for anything because everyone selfishly wants the best for themselves too