my story i made up oh btw this is my first pimd story

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by XxXx-Rosie-xXxX, May 14, 2012.

  1. i looked at the clock waiting for it to be over. i tapped my pencil agenst the desk i waited. the bell rang. i headed for the door as fast as i could i ran out and into the empty playground. i could hear the creeking of the swings when the wind blew them, i knew something could go wrong anything could go wrong at anytime but i wasnt sure what. i looked over my shoulder
    no one or nothing was there i headed for the end of the playground to where the busy road started. i stood on the pavment and looked across to the other side of the road i saw something
     
  2. this is my first pimd story please tell me if u like it or not or what i need to work on
     
  3. Details
    Paragraphs
    Capitalization
    Other then that it's great!
     
  4. Paragraphs
    More detail on main character/storyline
    Longer updates
     
  5. i cant write storys thats probley y
     
  6. spelling paragraphs capitalisation
    (hint for spellings either spell check it at the end or put auto correct on) more punctuation as well I agree with everyone else there but apart from that good job but it's confusing and we don't know what we are reading about.
     
  7. Punctuation. Paragraph. Details. And if there will be dialogues, don't forget quotation marks.