Hello! This is my first story, im not the best at writing im not good with punctuation but please please dont hate because it will bring my confidence down ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I never really had the best life, i've been bullied, called names, destroyed, im just that lonely person in the corner, the one no one notices, if i talk to you, you wouldnt talk back to me but soon that would change. Amber, the richest, prettiest, most popular girl in high school, the one everyone fancys, including me of course i dont get noticed i just sit in the corner looking at her, anyway to the story
It's a good outline I promise, but if you used periods more and commas less and didn't explain as much you'll be good to go like how you said Amber was pretty and stuff like that don't add in the "I just sit in he corner" move on from there and instead of this is the story try like "This is how it happened" or "This is when my life finally began" something like that
Don't make it cliché and work on your grammar. You should probably work on how you make characters seem too, because I kinda dislike both characters so far. So far one character comes across as whiny; the other self-absorbed (I think that's a word?) Also, it's not bad to add detail or explain things. I mean, you're only two paragraphs in. Getting to the point can be good, but also developing your characters a bit at the start is good as well. But yeah, for me, grammar is the main thing. Remember to capitalise letters, use more periods, use apostrophes and such. If you write something, try and write it in notes first so then you can proof read. If you post it straight away there's going to be a few mistakes. It's not bad for a first story, mine were a lot worse when I started aha. But quit the 'I suck' attitude. It just comes across as attention seeking. Take the criticism and actually work off it, instead of yeah. :3 Damn this turned out pretty long. xD