Characters : Alex - main, chocolate brown long hair ( curly tips) brown eyes, short, bubbly, loves making friends and having fun, hates attention, swimsuits, oceans, liars, fights and blood. Sandra- main, Alex's bestfriend, short red hair, tall, ocean blue eyes, gets pissed of quickly, rebel, hates stuck-up chicks. Simon- main, black hair (shaved sides, with bangs ), tall, black eyes, likes having fun with his mates, hates people who speak their mind and girls with no respect for themselves. Works as life guard. Andrew- main, Simons bestfriend, tall, blonde hair, blue eyes. Loves his childhood friends and his pet dog mitch. Kind, respects everyone, hates bad people. Works as life guard. is it good or should I change something??
"Alex you stupid sh*t wake the heck up!" shouted Sandra as she grabbed Alex's pink pillow pet "what is this stupid thing? Another baby toy?" she asked sarcastically. Alex sat up and snatched the unicorn pillow pet "It's a pillow, it's a pet, it's a pillow-pet" she sang. "Besides isn't it adorable" Alex held it with both her hands and kissed it as if it was a baby. "You and you dumb sh*t, anyways didn't you promise we were going to the beach today? Hurry up and get dressed" she smirked "I bought you a swimsuit that you HAVE to wear" she said as she exited Alex's room laughing evilly. "Ohh thanks" Alex stupidly said as she got of her pink bed sheets and walked towards the black and white bag on the floor. "WAAAAAHHHH!!!!" Sandra heard as she was walking down the wooden stairs. "Is everything alright up there Sandra?" Alex's mother asked "Don't worry aunt, everything is perfect" Sandra laughed "time for the beach, ay aunt woud you be able to make us sandwiches while I go get changed and come back?" "oh yay more work for me" she said happily as Sandra exited the door.
"I can't wear this" Sandra heard Alex saying as she was walking up the stairs towards Alex's room. "Why? You look hot, besides it makes you look like you have a D-cup chest" Sandra grinned "When did you get here?" Alex said " anyways it's too revealing why didn't you get me one of those swimsuits that cover the whole body? I don't feel comfortable in this. Alex was wearing a black connected bikini ( don't know what it is search it up) which showed her long legs and curves. "You can wear shorts on top if you want" Sandra said as she went downstairs to collect the sandwiches. "I hope this doesn't attract attention" Alex said as she wore her favorite yellow spongebob tank top on and put her TMNT towel in her beach bag.
(at the beach) "Finally we're at the beach" Sandra screamed excitedly while Alex opened the passengers door to exit the car. "I'm scared, wha... what if I drown??? I don't want to die young" Alex shivered "Don't be a chicken Alex" Sandra said as she flipped her red hair to the side as she picked up her towel. They began walking and finally reached the crystal like sand. "hey Sandra is there a 50% chance that a crab can come up from under the sand and bite my leg? The..... then it will bleed, then I'll DIE!!" Alex exaggerated "Yes, and you'll finally be out of my life" Sandra smirked as she stepped on a sandcastle that a little boy was playing on. "SANDRA LOOK WHAT YOU DID!" Alex yelled as she saw the kid crying. "So what he can build another one" "But... But he already built this one" Alex's eyes began to get teary as she kneeled near the boy and gave him a hug. "Don't worry aunty Alex will help you make a new one" Alex cheered "Alex" Sandra screamed "I brought you here today to have fun with ME not a kid" "Don't worry miss, my brother and his friend are here to help me" the little boy smiled. "You look like someone I know, well maybe not know but someone who comes to the school I attend" Alex clapped her hands stupidly. "Who do you think your talking too" a husky voice behind. Alex turned her head looked at the man standing behind her but couldn't see his face cause the sun was shining to bright.
-Alex's pov- As I turn my gaze towards the manly voice behind I see two pairs of feet one tanned and the other pale. I slowly raise my head and realize the tanned guy wearing blue board shorts with an amazing body and the other man wearing the same shorts with a good figure. As I continue to raise my head, I can't see them from all the shine from the sun, I slowly begin to get up and realize it Simon and Andrew behind him. -Normal pov- "You like what you see?" Simon smirks sarcastically. "Hi" Alex says happily waving to the boys. "What do you want from us?, we came here to relax not to talk to you" Sandra says "I don't want anything from you, I want to ask her why she's talking to my younger brother" Simon asks "I... uh, um... well you see I was walking and I saw your brother sitting building a sandcastle that Sandra accidentally stepped on, and, and I was trying to help him rebuild it" Alex says in a rush. "Well don't help him" Simon says as he turns around and begins walking. "Well you're mean!" Alex shouts just loud enough so Simon can hear her. "Heh, another stupid women who speaks her mind" he blabbers as he starts walking toward her. He pokes his finger on her head and moves his mouth towards he ears and says "think before you say, go over it in your head before blabbing it out to the world" Simon smirked as he looks at Alex's face which is as red as a tomato. "she's not stupid, she's just innocent" Sandra screams as she walks towards Alex and grabs her wrist and begins walking towards the water.
This story is good so far. Very few spelling mistakes. You should have described the characters in the story as like you did in the beginning. All in all, continue on typing the rest of the story, make it a lil more detailed, and Blump! :3
"Bye, lil kid" Alex waved her hand wildly, her soothing cheerful smile was on and her dimples showed perfectly on her cherry colored cheeks. Her long chocolate wavy hair was bouncing as she jumping up and down waving her delicate fingers. "Alex!!!" Sandra shouted, Alex turned around and started facing Sandra with a teary face "Oh my gosh, what did that stupid son of a shoe say to you" Sandra asked angry "He basically told me I'm an idiot" Alex said with a frown on her face, "I'm going to kill that" Alex stopped Sandra from continuing her sentence from all the attention they were getting from the people at the beach. "it's okay don't worry about it" Alex chirped "it was mine and his first time talking so I'm happy"
It's amazing I love the detail and how innocent Alex is I like how few spelling errors there are and how you explained the characters at the beginning That's my criticism bottom line it's amazing
"Sandra!!!" Alex cried in the girls change room "I can't wear this, it's too revealing" she said as she covered herself with her TMNT towel. "Come on Alex, for me?" Sandra asked with her puppy eyes that Alex never says no to. Alex looked at her for a second and her brown eyes looked at Sandra softer and nodded."Once and only time" Alex smiled " And don't you dare ever do those puppy eyes of yours on me." Alex grinned as she took the towel off and put it in her beach bag as she walked to the navy blue door of the girls restroom and posed with her right hand on her right hip with her left hand up against the door and said "Like what you see?" imitating what Simon had told her earlier. "Oh why yes my lovely dear" Sandra said with her British accent and chuckled.
As soon as Alex and Sandra stepped out of the girls restroom they had the attention of half people at the beach, males were staring at Alex with rapist eyes. "That's it I'm swimming with a shirt and shorts" Alex whispered as she was walking back into the change room. "Alex" Sandra said "What did you just promise me in there" she asked while walking back into the girls restroom. "But.... but the attention" Alex shivered "I was scared" she cried while covering her face with her towel. Sandra frowned cause she knew Alex had hated attention ever since primary school when her skirt flew up and all the guys laughed at her for wearing pokadot panties. "I've got a idea" Sandra grinned evilly. Alex knew that face "No please stop thinking" Alex cried "Hahaha too late now, be back in a min okay stay here and don't move" she yelled as she exited the bathroom. "Noooooooo, don't leave me alone" Alex yelled "I'm scared"