Love Troubles

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by KittyCat88-3, Jun 15, 2014.

  1. Hey, I am Cat or Kitty. I've decided I wish to try out a gam fiction, because I love reading ones by others. As of now, I'm not sure what my plans are with this story nor where it's going. But I can say I do believe I will try to finish it. Criticism is greatly welcomed, but please don't be incredibly rude about it. And trolls, I know you'll be coming and I know I just have to accept that lol

    ~~~~~Love Troubles~~~~

    "Hey Love!" Ally says into her phone while she's applying makeup and fixing her wavy, jet black hair into a pony tail. "Yeah, I'm heading out in a few. Alright Love, see you in a little bit" she finishes with her makeup, which matches her coral dress, then slips on white flats and walks downstairs. "Hey Mom! I'm leaving to see Michael now!" Ally yells, before grabbing her purse. "Ok dear, just be back before curfew," Mrs. Morris, her mother, replies. Ally walks out the door and starts the walk to her boyfriend's house.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    She makes it there in less time then ever before; however, it was horrible timing to be there. Ally walks up to the door and is about to knock when she hears yelling and a slap. She freezes when someone begins to open the door. Michael Daniel, her boyfriend of 2 years, rushes out of the house and runs into her. "Michael?" She asks tentatively. He looks at her, with a frightened expression, then grabs her wrist, pulls her up to her feet, and runs.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Ally has learned not to question when Michael is running. She's seen how his mother abuses him enough to know he runs often. "Michael, honey? Where are we going?" She asks, in a very gentle voice. He pretends not to hear her and heads for a park bench. They sit down, and he immediately puts his face in his hands and begins to weep. Ally carefully pulls his hands away and says, "Look at me. What happened?" He turns his face towards her, and she notices a bright red hand print. Michael whispers "I...I can't stay there. She kicked me out..." As he begins to cry again. Ally reacts fast and texts her mom. "Hey uh... Mom? We have an issue. Michael was kicked out and has no where to go." "Oh dear! Well, he can come with us for a while. He can use the spare room," her mother replies almost instantly. "Michael, my mom says you can stay with us for a bit. Do you want that?" His weeps become louder. "I want to, very much. But my father is coming to get me. The man I haven't seen in 12 years is going to take me away"

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    Well, I'm not sure how well I did, but I tried. I'll
    Be explaining a bit in the next update, so don't worry about it being few details. I really hope I am able to continue with this story and that y'all love it. And I do hope that I used a good title for this story as well :3
     
  2. Fan fiction^ darn it
     
  3. LOVIN IT SO FAR WALL ME WHEN UPDATED
     
  4. Ooo, someone is a fan! Lol
     
  5. It's a good story. Wall me when it's updated
     
  6. Aw shoot. I'll need someone to be my designated waller. I am unable to wall people :(
     
  7. Oooooo, yes plez India! Cuz I can just tell you on third party app when I update 
     
  8. Update me on my wall when updated. This is so good.
     
  9. I'm so happy I'm actually good at SOMETHING! Lol
     
  10. Hey y'all. I'm thinking I'm going to try a his/her POV, but I may change it lol. This is my first story

    ~~~~Love Troubles~~~~

    His POV
    Michael was sitting in his room; doing his homework and trying hard to be invisible. His mother had company over and she despised that thought of them meeting her son. So he sits. He reads. He listens to music with headphones. "I can't make a sound, I can't. I don't want to be hit again..." he thinks, before carefully walking to his desk. He gasps; his floor made a creak. "****...." He mutters under his breath. He can tell they heard. He listens through the vent and hears the guests asking questions. "I'm ******..." he thinks, as he readies himself for the explosion to come later.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    "No no no no no!" Michael mutters, as he reads the text from his girlfriend, Ally. She is a year younger then him; 16, and she's on her way. "Michael, get your *** down here right this God **** minute!" his mother screams as soon as the quests have left. He sighs, then cleans himself up slightly by combing his hair and walks down the stairs from the attic. "What the hell was that about?! How DARE you make sounds while I have company!" She screams. "What is your bull **** excuse this time?" "I'm sorry ma'am. I was walking towards my desk to grab my homework and-" "Yes I heard what happened. You know very **** well that you are supposed to grab 5 things that you would need while I have company. Get over here!" She continues to scold. Michael hangs his head "Yes ma'am..." He walks towards her. Before he can do anything, she slaps him across the face. HARD. "Get out of my god **** house." She commands, as he shoves her back and runs towards the door. He runs straight into Ally, who was frozen in fear. He doesn't hear what she says, he just grabs her wrist and runs.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    And after Michael laid the bomb about his father, Ally burst into tears. "He can't take you away, he can't!" She sobs, and Michael cuddles her close. "Come on baby, we can't have both of us crying. It'll be ok" he soothes her. "Where is he t..taking you?" She stutters. Michael hesitates before answering, "Southern California..." "B...but Michael! That's so far!" Michael silently thinks on how Southern California is quite a distance from Washington. He pulls Ally onto his lap and whispers in her ear, "We have two weeks before he's due to come"

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    Alrighty, well I think that's a good amount for today. Ill be updating as soon as once a day if possible. Please leave any comments and critics (probably spelled that wrong) and I will work on it. Plus, I am terribly sorry if I failed on the italics bb coding.
     
  11. Italics worked fine ^_^ if you need any help just find me I'll be hiding in that corner… I'm kidding… Well about the the hiding part anyway.
     
  12. Lol thanks. I saw your pm. Ill have to ask you here tho lol. I managed to get myself perm perm silenced a little while ago
     
  13. Lol okay ^_^ I'll pm you something else in a sec
     
  14. Great update, Cat. This is very interesting. Can't wait to read more :D
     
  15. Tank choo Ariel :3
     
  16. I think instead of ''his pov'' u should put Mike's Pov
     
  17. Yeah, I could. I'm kinda looking at others. Some say the people's named and others just say his and hers. Idk. If enough people want me to, ill says Ally's POV and Michael's POV
     
  18. Does anyone else think I should be doing "Ally's POV" and "Michael's POV"?
     
  19. Use Ally's and Mike's as you get further into the story it will help as there will be more characters so it will avoid confusion ^_^