I am finishing this one I promise!! +++++++++++++ Must I always be so reckless. Everything I do is without any thought, always with a bad ending. I said to myself as I ventured home, bloody and bruised. No the blood was not mines it was from some jerk that was hurting a girl. As I kept walking. My body became heavy forcing me to stop. "What the?"I was pushed to my knee's. "Ahh what is going on?!" My breathing suddenly stopped and I collapsed. I gasped for one little breath but failed. Was this how I was die? I passed out.
It's good, just remember to describe things and include how the character would feel etc. Proof read as there are some mistakes but overall it's good and hooks the reader.
Sorry guys I had alot of stuff to do soooo here's another update ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ I awoke to pitch darkness. I waited and tried to adjust my eyes to the darkness, but failed. I dug my hand in my pocket "There has to be something I can use" A felt something on scurry along my fingers "Ahh!! what was that?!?!" I jumped up and smacked my head against a switch. The room lit up to show a large window-less room that glowed with a whitish-blue paint. I peered around to a swarm of mysterious creatures that honestly scared the crap out of me. "What the hell is that?" I screamed, scooting back quickly. 'Hello Exorcist Dante.' Where was that voice coming from and why was it calling me a exorcist? Also how did it know my name?
Update for you. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ "Exorcist?" I replied, feeling a little crazy talking to a invisible person or something. I stood up so the swarm that infested the floors would not touch me. 'Yes, Exorcist. Do you not know of your origins?' The voice asked, louder than the greeting. My origins? What does the voice mean? "No, I do not know of my origins. Well I don't know anything of my family" 'Is that so? Well I'll take much joy in killing you with a hint of pity.' The voice screeched. "Kill me?" I scrambled to find a way out of this place. The voice had manifested itself in a human form. I turned only to face the thing planning to kill me. I kicked it back but did no damage. I grabbed the bottle that hung around my neck and opened it then I read a verse from the bible. "You deceived me." The demon exclaimed, falling to the ground in a blue flame.
Re: Lives Change Because... I awoke in the middle of the street feeling normal with a vivid memory of the events that conspired. I rose up slowly, grabbing hold of the fence that was positioned to the left of me. I looked up at the starless night sky that only had the moon and it's fullness "What happened?" I said to myself as I rubbed the dome of my head. "Ehh whatever it was I'll remember it I'm due time." I continued to walk home, passing a a large church that had gold like paint. 'Go to the church, go to the church' I heard a silent whisper by my ear and turned around and headed towards the church.
As I entered the golden chapel of the church I could do nothing but gape at the size of the church. "Wow!" I said a bit louder than intended. I explored the vast area of the chapel until I found a priest. "Hello Brother" The priest was a Caucasian male with a medium build. He wore a gold and purple outfit like the guys in a Catholic church. "Hello" I replied to the priest, observing the priest. The priest then gasped and walked towards me. He lifted the bottle around my neck up. "Where did you get this?" I stared at that priest who was now holding the bottle in his palm along with my necklace. "I received it when I was born." The priest instantly dropped my bottle and necklace and ran towards a little office. He returned with a group of priest and what seemed to be a Bishop, they all held crosses, guns, holy water, and pieces of paper with symbols on them.
Re: Lives Change Because... As I entered the golden chapel of the church I could do nothing but gape at the size of the church. "Wow!" I said a bit louder than intended. I explored the vast area of the chapel until I found a priest. "Hello Brother" The priest was a Caucasian male with a medium build. He wore a gold and purple outfit like the guys in a Catholic church. "Hello" I replied to the priest, observing the priest. The priest then gasped and walked towards me. He lifted the bottle around my neck up. "Where did you get this?" I stared at that priest who was now holding the bottle in his palm along with my necklace. "I received it when I was born." The priest instantly dropped my bottle and necklace and ran towards a little office. He returned with a group of priest and what seemed to be a Bishop, they all held crosses, guns, holy water, and pieces of paper with symbols on them. They were surrounding me as if they were going to attack. Were they?