letting it out

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by *izzy_wizzy (01), Nov 13, 2012.

  1. Every tear I loose,
    Every mood I chose,
    Every punch,
    Every non-eaten lunch,
    The blood on my wrist,
    Lifes cruel twist,
    Lost in the mist,
    Of my feelings and my secrets,
    Why did you tell,
    Why did you say,
    Boundaries were made,
    Thanks for now...
    You made me fade!




    Yeah so I'm kinda upset right now... *middle finger* •_•
     
  2. This is good I like the way you can relate to it in different ways...
     
  3. It's pretty good, but it doesn't really flow as poems should. The words feel like the wrong pieces of a puzzle being forced together.

    I also understand that you feel hurt right now. I want to feel what you feel. Make the reader experience the pain you are going through.

    This isn't personal, it's just a little bit of positive criticism. Hope things work out for the better!
     
  4. If anyones pretty good at writing poems can they wall me or something, want to start writing poems but I have little idea about structure/pretty much everything lol