This is my first one shot, I know my description skills are terrible, but I wasn't in the mood. My present/past tense is iffy too, but anyways... Describes my evening perfectly... The day started out rocky. Holly, Dylan and Duncan were constantly at each other, fighting and screaming about stupid little details, sometimes aiming insults at me, most bouncing off but some making a little dent in my self esteem. You tried to control them, being stressed out cause of the wedding later in the day. Finally you sent them down to grandmas, dumping three more to her five charges left by Casey, who carelessly went on a mini-holiday. I showered and put on my dress and jewelry, looking awkward as I expected earlier. While you're busy I stash my screw in my bra pockets, I knew something was going to set me off. I wrapped my headphones up around my iPod, putting it in my bra as well and we went to get the kids, who were ready and quiet. It took us nearly two hours to get to the venue of the wedding, a beautiful rose garden, roses covered every inch of garden area, leaving the grass and paths. I picked a small yellow rose and tucked it between my hair and my ear, smiling properly for the first time in a while. The bride walked down the path of the garden and I looked to see the groom grinning like a fool. Needless to say I cried a lot during the wedding. I took so many photos of the beautiful bride amongst the roses, you even praised me on my shots, a rare thing from you, praise. We then went to the reception, the long tables decorated with little roses and plastic spiders, playboy bunny head things and pink and blue ribbons. I was sat at the end, Tayla and James on one side of me, a relative I'd never met before. I had some coke, danced with my little cousin until she got tired, then had lengthly conversations with the one person in our family I could trust, Brayden. We talked until probably nine-ish until he had to go, I watched everyone disappear, the kids had been dropped at their dads for the rest of the weekend. I looked over to you, drunk as all hell. I stood up and walked to the bathroom, sitting on a closed toilet seat digging the screw deep into my skin. One long gash down the middle, six or so small gashes across the first. This was a usual pattern for me, I referred to the pattern as me stitching, holding me together do I don't crack. Midnight arrived and it was just you, me, the bride and groom, and some random people I'd met once. You went and called a taxi while I sat in a secluded spot, everyone saying their goodbyes and leaving you and me, you went to the noisier part of the restaurant while I stayed in my spot. You came and yelled at me while two bartenders watched you, coming up to me and offering to let me stay behind the bar until the taxi came, saying I shouldn't be used to that at my young age, which unfortunately I was. I took the offer and sat listening to music until the taxi finally arrived. I sat in silence while you yapped away the whole way home to the driver, who was clearly sick of it already. I opened the door and walked inside while you paid him, changing and laying on my bed, knowing you were going to beat me when you got inside. Surprise surprise, you did. I made no sound as you struck me more than you could count in your drunk stage. You finally stopped and left the room swearing like crazy. I curled up and waited for your breathing to slow down before I got up and went under the mattress of my bed for the note I had written almost a year ago. I grabbed my pocket knife and re-wrote the note on a newer sheet of paper. I couldn't take it any more. There are only two reasons you would be reading this, either you found it under my bed, or I've finally killed myself. Mum, you've always been the worst person to me, you beat me every time you're drunk, you won't go have me properly tested for depression, you kicked me out for almost three months when I came out to you bitch, that's not what mothers do, for fucks sake. You never cared, I honestly don't think I'm your hold anymore, I couldn't have possibly came from such a monster. Roan, you've been there for me since the first cut, you tried buddy, but I guess I was doomed to be like this anyway... Good luck Roan, I love you best friend. A tear rolled down my cheek as I folded up the note and grabbed the pocket knife, teasing out the blade and shaking uncontrollably. I positioned the blade above my heart and winced as it pierced the delicate skin, pulling it out when I felt it had gone deep enough. I then carved 'I only felt pain' on my right arm, finally bringing the blade to my throat, closing my eyes a final time before making the subtle movement, ending my life completely. You never cared. You never will.