Rules: Crack a joke. I'm the judge this time. Prize: 1 Hypnocat End Date: 18th at 9PM PST Want proof? Just search: "Kitty give away"
Name- Bobo Weapon Saw blade and gun Occupation- Serial killer Choice of prey- girls Age-50 Lives with mom and cat named Caitlyn Jenner What does my life consist of? Pimd duh now u die
Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?" "None," replied Johnny, "cause the rest would fly away." "Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I like the way you're thinking." Little Johnny says, "I have a question for you. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was licking her cone, the second was biting her cone and the third was sucking her cone, which one is married?" "Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the cone." "No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking."
Man and woman are laying in bed talking, man sees a light outside alerts his wife they both rush outside, to their surprise a alien ship has landed in there yard. A unique couple steps out, they start talking to the human couple and decided to take the other partner out. When the alien man is with the human woman she suddenly busts out into laughter, then he tells her it's okay just tug upon my ears until you get what you like. When it is all said and done the couples return to there partners and the human woman blissful as can be sends the other couple off with goodies and rushes to wave goodbye. Her husband in shock looks at her and says how was your time dear? She replys "I've never had anything like it, it was so great how about you love"? The man replys with a sigh and says "it was okay dear but that woman almost ripped my ears off" *must use your imagination to get this joke*
The teacher asked Jimmy, "why is your cat at school today Jimmy?" He replied crying, "because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, i'm going to eat that p*ssy once Jimmy leaves for school today"
So a minion was talking to his friend bob. Bob was hungry. He imagined bananas and all of a sudden they started singing. Its bananas B-A-N-A-N-A-S~ Then bob ate them. HaHaHa the end. Ha Ha.. (-.-) Im not a funny kind of person. Just love me enough for that key though <3
A drunk walks into a bar, orders a shot and immediately pukes all over his own shirt. "Wha' my gonna do now? My wifezz gonna kill me." "Relax," the bartender says, "give me a five-dollar bill." The bartender folds up the bill and puts it in the guy's shirt pocket. "Tell your wife some drunk puked on you and gave you five bucks to have your shirt cleaned." "Thass a great idea!" When the drunk gets home his wife answers the door. "Where have you been? What happened to your shirt?" He tries to put on a sober voice and says, "Relaaax honey, some drunk guy puked on me and gave me five bucks to have my shirt cleaned." The drunk's wife reaches in his pocket, grabs the money, and says, "There's $10 in here!" "Oh yeah, he sh*t my pants, too."
It was a cloudy evening. Bob took a leak off the side of a ship he was on. When he comes back in, a girl asks him if it's still cloudy. Bob says, "No, I was taking a leak and I saw the Big Dipper."
3 drunk guys entered a taxi. The taxi driver knew that they were drunk so he started the engine & turned it off again. Then said, "We have reached your destination". The 1st guy gave him money & the 2nd guy said "Thank you". The 3rd guy slapped the driver. The driver was shocked thinking the 3rd drunk knew what he did. But then he asked "What was that for?". The 3rd guy replied, "Control your speed next time, you nearly killed us!"
A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The husband puts "mypen*s", and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen says, "Error, not long enough".
Operator: 911 what's your emergency? Husband: my wife's going into labor , I don't know what to do? Operator: is this her firstborn? Husband: no , this is her husband.