A tear tricked down my face. I have to do this I told myself. It's the only way. I held the sharp blade just inches from my arm. Then slowly cut my self. Hope u like. Srry if any grammar mistakes
Try reading other stories to get ideas and also make this update longer, I don't know where you are or who you are or even why you are doing it! It can be improved into a really good story but u need to read other stories to gain experience (please read mine and leave a comment... It's called the story of my murder) Sorry this was long
This sucks. -_- - not descriptive - no plot - its stupid that you wrote so little - You make me want to PUNCH a baby seal
Yes goddammit I'm harsh! For a reason cuz' I ain't letting this place be overrun by morons! I hate this spam -_-
U know I have 3 pages of this story written. I was just seeing if anyone wanted me to write more. So chill. Gosh.
Then write more I know you can do better! Dont just sit there and aggravate me! Post something worth posting that little strip is not okay!
Srry cut me off. My vision blurred. I could feel my spirit leaving my body. "this is it," I thought. " It will all be over soon." I felt like I was floating over my body. I could se myself lying there bloody.my Chest barely rising. Suddenly my door burst open and Ryan ran it. "AMBER WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? I love you!,I came to tell yo I love you." I struggled so hard to go back to my body. In truth I loved Ryan. I just never knew he felt the same. I watched as Ryan pulled his 1995 Nokia phone out of his pocket and dialed 911. Then everything went black. Better?
I woke up in a cold white room, that smelled of chemicals. I could feel the warmth of someones hand grasping mine. I followed the hand up to the arm, then to his face. I couldn't see his beautiful blue eyes, he was asleep his blonde Hair was covering his face. I slowly sat up. His eyes fluttered open. "Amber,"He whispered. He stood up grasping my hand even tighter. "what were you thinking?" " I-I was thinking that this pain would never end." I stuttered. Ryan looked at me,his blue eyes blood shot. "I just felt so alone." "You had me." he said "But you were never there." " I was always there" he yelled.
Okay first off... I'm gonna be an A-CLASS BITCH! But honestly you need it. ONE: Fix the grammar. Improper grammar makes you look really bad. SECOND: Read before you post. I see mistakes here and there in grammar and what not and just re read before you post and it'll make a HELL of a difference. THIRD: Space out dialogue. This: "Blah blah blah," he said. I yelled back,"BLEH BLAH!" Looks way better then it all squished together! I'm only trying to help here. Don't take it personally.