Just another Random Story

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by RosyBlue, Sep 22, 2013.

  1. This story may not be perfect I coming with this story as I go .




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    {FlashBack}

    "Hi ,I'm Alexandria. Who might you be."I was just being nice like I usually am when I first meet someone


    "Why do you need to know ?" She glared at me. Right from the start I knew I don't like her at all. I glared back.

    "What's got your knickers in a twist." Some of my friends are British and I learn from them since I'm always beside them.

    "Nothing. But since you need to know so much ,my name is Jennia." She walked away as if she won the war , but she didn't.

    {3 Years Later}

    "Ali I can't believe it " It was Kristi again for the third time. She just won't stop gossiping.

    "What's is it now ,It's the 3rd time you called "

    "Well, the latest news is that ....." I didn't hear the rest I just started zoning out. Usually nothing in her news catches my attention.

    She was still blabbering when I heard his name ."......Andrew"

    "Wait what can you say that again ?" I was interested.

    "Ok fine. Well I heard that Andrew was dating Jennia and from all the gossip around the school I'm starting to think its true ." I was all ears I listened to every word she said.

    "Ok, bye I got to go ok Kristi"

    Some people don't see it. He can't see how I blush every time he laughs at my jokes or when I tripped over my feet when he asked me to dance . He don't know these things . This all started when he went on his trip to Europe in tenth grade . He was visiting his Grandma. We used to be the same height when he came back he looked sort of cute
    and was 4 inches taller . I thought thinking he was cute was a phase but no it continues until know . I think it is kind of wierd to think your best friend got cute over the summer.

    I stated noticing every detail about him. He had a new girlfriend each week and I set him up with all of them. I noticed the way his blonde hair shines in the moonlight and his icy blue eyes that freezes me when I look into them.

    Meanwhile, over the years Jennia had become a enemy we competed for everything . I usually win all of them but she does anything to win it never worked on me until know......


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    I came up with this story as I go. Please comment and I will ONLY continue if you guys like it .
     
  2. This is really good bump
     
  3. Remember to have punctuation at the end of dialogue. For example,

    "The cookie is gone," she said. (There's a comma at the end, not a period).

    He replied, "I wanted to eat that! Darn."

    "Who ate the cookie?" she asked. (The "she" isn't capitalized).

    Also, I would suggest adding a bit more emotion and detail into it, and adding some suspense to slow it down. Keep writing! It's good for a first attempt.
     
  4. Babe good advice
     
  5. Yeah i agree with them