Im With The FBI

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by -T_L-Emoji, Sep 5, 2014.

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  1. Just wanted to inform you im with the Federal Bed Investigations unit.I have a badge and a gun even tho the gun shoots blanks.Apparently i dont need a gun but my jobs pretty dangerous! Everyday i go to homes and check beds and sometimes people get hostile.Either drugs or money is hidden in the beds sometimes bugs.The jobs more fun than you think though.I would like to let you know the situation isnt always what you think.My job is to make sure all beds are safe and sturdy so you can have the best rest possible.So when men come home to me and their lady in the bed together they think: Hey this guys fucking my girl.Thats NOT the case! I was simply checking for rusty spring and needed your wife/gf to help with that.Strictly doing my job! Some people like to call us Federal Bitch Investigations unit but dont listen to them.We arent here to steal your girl we just need their help to ensure a good nights sleep for you and to ensure that we must test it ourselves.

    This is the Life of Emoji

    Btw read my book 50 Shades of Emoji they dont pay us good bc they say us FBI's get pleasure to compensate for labor.

    #TL;DR
     
    #1 -T_L-Emoji, Sep 5, 2014
  2. k
     
    #2 Noob123123, Sep 5, 2014
  3. Whut...

    Ill repeat...

    Whut...
     
    #3 TheWalkingBread, Sep 5, 2014
  4. He wants to RP with younger guys
     
    #4 CussyPat, Sep 5, 2014
  5. I'd do that job just so i could fuck yo girl and get away with it
     
    #5 Sadistic_The-BAD-ly_Influenced, Sep 5, 2014
  6. I dont get the confusion
     
    #6 -T_L-Emoji, Sep 5, 2014
  7. Can i join?
     
    #7 -IN-ToEatingPie-, Sep 5, 2014
  8. Bed headed North Bound. Armed with bed bugs. Calling all units to the crime scene
     
    #8 dictator, Sep 5, 2014
  9. This is pretty good. Lmao.
     
    #9 Royale30, Sep 5, 2014
  10. What a wonderful job. Thanks for serving our country.
     
    #10 FallenAngel12321, Sep 5, 2014
  11. Emoji, I'm hiring you as my bodyguard 
     
    #11 -BAD-DCLXVI-VICE-DCLXVl, Sep 5, 2014
  12. Proud to Serve and protect and you gotta go to the academy first
     
    #12 -T_L-Emoji, Sep 5, 2014
  13. I'd be proud to serve...but $3,500 a month is my cost
     
    #13 -T_L-Emoji, Sep 5, 2014
  14. I feel that's not enough for a man of your stature.  I'll offer $7,000 for your services.
     
    #14 -BAD-DCLXVI-VICE-DCLXVl, Sep 5, 2014
  15. You have a deal i only get paid $28.50 here
     
    #15 -T_L-Emoji, Sep 5, 2014
  16. Great.  You start next Monday.
     
    #16 -BAD-DCLXVI-VICE-DCLXVl, Sep 5, 2014
  17. Federal Bed Investigation :|?
     
    #17 Tempting, Sep 5, 2014
  18. •.•
     
    #18 Wiishu, Sep 5, 2014
  19. Yes Elite we do serious work
     
    #19 -T_L-Emoji, Sep 5, 2014
  20. I was with the FBI for over ten years till I got transfered FFI(Federal Fridge Inspection).
    Not s fay goes by in which I miss providing people with better cushion and protection for their beds.... Tough job, have many stories
     
    #20 dictator, Sep 5, 2014
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