How to milk a cow?

I hate when I go to milk a cow, and it turns out to be a person. Whoops.

 

Step 1. Grab the nip
Step 2. Squeeze and slightly tug on the nip
Step 3. You didn't aim into the bucket so it squirted in your face
Step 4. Walk away from the nip in shame

 

I can't relate

 

The closest I've ever come to milking a cow is seeing one milked on tv. I prefer my cows to be hacked up into meat patties for my burgers.

 

Goto a farm find the owner n wait for the instructions

 

Now where's the one for chicken eggs?

 

Apply a lubricant such as Vaseline to your hands
to minimize friction.
Wrap your warm hands around two of the four
teats. Choose diagonal teats (front left and rear
right, for example). Or, try the front teats first, then the
back pair.
Squeeze the base of the teat
Squeeze down to push out the milk, maintaining
your grip on the base of the teat so that the milk
doesn't flow back up into the udder.

 

Is it scary u guys know so much? 

 

op for idiot of the year

 

Wot even

 

Ask a farmer

 

Grab your gf boobs, and milk her with your mouth

 

You were on campus desperately looking around for indian girls in a sneaky way days ago though.

 

Hard to not notice. Desperation reeks. 

 

This thread