Holiday jokes

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by SuchACutie, Dec 8, 2013.

  1. Well its around that time of year where many cultures are celebrating holidays so post your best holiday jokes here and please keep it within TOU/ROC. Ill start.

    Why is Santa always so happy?

    Because he knows where all the naughty girls live
     
  2. 3 girls walk by Santa. He says 'Ho Ho Ho!' And they Slap Him.  Not mine heard it from a friend
     
  3. Lol 
     
  4. Why was Santa's little helper depressed? Because he had low elf esteem.
     
  5. Lolololol
     
  6. So santa goes to court fir sexual harassment . The lawyer says: I'll ask you again sir! Did you not look at my client and, in a crouded shopping mall,in front of her children,call her,not once,but three times...A "Ho!"
     
  7. What says Oh Oh Oh?


    Santa walking backwards 

    Corny I know 
     
  8. Q: What do elves learn in school?
    A: The Elf-abet

    Q: How does Al Gore's household keep Christmas politically correct?
    A: On Christmas morning, they give the presents TO the tree.

    Q: What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus?
    A: Crisp Cringle.

    Q: What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
    A: Snowflakes. 

    Q: What do you do if Santa gets stuck in your chimney?
    A: Pour Santa flush on him. 

    Q: What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
    A: Claustrophobic.??

    Q: Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?
    A: You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.

    Q: What's a good holiday tip?
    A: Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.

    Happy holidays
     
  9. Lol keep them coming