Hey, ladies.

Ladies; it's all natural, it happens every month and we hate it. But, shouldn't it be a little funny? PMS makes us do crazy things or say things we typically wouldn't normally say. So, I've typed up some things I've done during that time of the month and I also have some tips (some you may already know of, some you may not.) Feel free to share any tips or funny remark you've said to someone. Enjoy.

-----------------------------------------------


Get the urge to cry, cry, laugh at yourself minutes later then be mad at the fact you cried. Confuse your parents.

Question why periods can't be texted to you; " you're not pregnant this time. I'll see you next month, have a great day!"

Get embarrassed from the random gurgles and strange noises your stomach makes;
"My stomach is pregnant with a food baby."

Cry uncontrollably at the ASPCA commercials (like you already don't) and want to adopt all the dogs.

Cover up in a fleece blanket, throw it off minutes later, then cover back up.

Be disgusted with all the acne on your face the week before.

Sleep all day, but feel like you have ran a marathon while you were sick and haven't slept in a few days.

Snap at your mom for waking you up during your hibernation.

Person: "You need to brush your hair."
Me: "Leave me alone. Shut up. I don't care."

Person: "You're going to wear that?"
Me: "You're going to look like that? "

"Why do I feel like cleaning? Why do I feel like doing anything?"

-3:45 AM- "Good heavens! It's time to eat!"

-5 AM- "I should try to go to sleep now."

"It's too hot."
"Too cold."
"IT'S FREAKING HADES OVER HERE."
"I'm locked in a freezer stuck in Alaska."
"Who wants to feel my arm sweat?"
"Turn the A/C off before I get the disease."
"Turn the emergency heat on and kill my disease."

Google searched if I could remove an ovary and end my PMS but still have kids.

"What can I stress over enough to postpone my period?"

"I've done nothing but breathe and I'm sweaty, amazing."

Person: "Want to hang out?"
Me: "Stop breathing."

"I can really shed this much blood and not die? This is incredible."

Forgot what time I put in my tampon, took it out too early, felt the pain of many knives.

Person: "We're going out to eat, get dressed."
Me: *sigh* *grunts* *groans* "NO."

"My lady parts are being stabbed and my ovaries fight back with cramping up, man up"
-Cries from the cramps after the ovaries won't listen to your many surrender pleas.-

-8:30 PM- " I'm going to bed."
Body: "LOL, nope."
Me: "I'm so sleepy."
Body: "Let's toss and turn, burn up and not get comfy."
Brain: "Did you remove the blood plug?"
Body: "Brain! What's up bro?"

Mom buys ice cream:
Brain: "Eat it, eat it all. NOW."
Pumpkin flavor ice cream..
Brain: Don't touch that shit."
hours later:
Brain: "Let's have ice cream."

Wonder if Strippers get a week off for their PMS.

Mom: "Why so grouchy?"
Me: "You don't understand, mom."
Mom: "Well, stop."
Me: -cries.-

Boyfriend: "Wanna go in the bedroom? "
Me: "Please, do not touch me."
Boyfriend: 

------------------------------------------

Tips:

*Avoid any type of clothing that fits too tightly around your waist.

*Cranberry juice can really improve the cramps.

*Occasional clothing (dresses)- You can double, wear the pad and use the tampon or wear a pair of shorts.

*Tampons- This sounds weird, but using different a different absorbency helps. If you're a light absorbency go up one and use those during the first couple of days when the flow tends to be heavier.

Well, that's it for me.
If you enjoyed this forum or found it helpful or just funny, let me know if you would like me to do other topics.
*** It's just for laughs, and I would like to share my tips with you women out there in hopes to improve yours, though they won't go away until our 40's why not try to improve them? PMS is hard enough! ***


Thanks for reading,
Love, Paige.