The girl grabs a knife and cuts herself and laughs at the pain. The blood slowly drips onto the ground as she sings twinkle twinkle little stars. She cuts herself agIn this time on her face. The warm bright red blood trickles down from her cheek and onto her plain white gown. Her parents don't notice, they're to busy with work. She cries as shes sitting in a pool of her blood. The pain she's feeling is not caused by the self harm but by her parents who seem to care less about there daughter.....to be continued.
Bump! Try to separate it into paragraphs and make it longer. More dramatic. Like this. There's a space in between the paragraphs. Suspencccce. Dramaaaa I think you get the picture