Parenting Advice Needed Many of us here have children, some older and some younger. I reach out to this part of the community and ask for help and advice. When a child is violent, unresponsive to discipline and distant, What is the best way to reteach them acceptable behaviors and reengage them. The child in question switches between a house that encourages violence and allows free range and another house where violence is not tolerated, and there are limits on what are acceptable activities. They are also on the verge of being expelled at the age of seven. Timeout used to be an effective way of changing their behaviors, However as they have gotten older, this has become less effective. Talking thorough whats right or wrong doesn't seem to be working either. I am not a believer in violence myself and will not hurt him back, so lease do not propose this. This child has many issues, but this issue seems to be the biggest and most concerning. Please if anyone has any USEFUL advice i would love to hear it.
Taking away their toy or something so they understand they've done something wrong. They may have a fit but in the end they will know they've done wrong. Even if you give in, the satisfaction of having the toy back will be less enjoyable. Oh and when they get into their teenage years do not shout a lot or even at all. A slow approach with a gentle nature is always better as they will be mature back.
Positive reinforcement for good behavior. Meaning, find something the child had a passion for or generally something he really likes. He will ONLY get this when positive behavior is established. However, if he gets this at the other house as a reward during bad behavior too, it loses it's authoritative values. Not sure if communication with the other side of the party is an option, but it would benefit if both patents are working on the same page. If positive reinforcement is not a solution, the next best method is to change his way of thinking. It is important to talk about his attitude. He's 7, and still very imaginative and at the "what I see mommy, I do too" stage. If the child is throwing a temperament, you say: "does mommy (insert negative action here).. You can also substitute it with his favorite cartoon character or something. At this age, children are still in the development stage and the more you keep doing positive reinforcement for good behaviors the more likely he will do them again as he is rewarded positively. Change his attitude to that, negative actions have consequences. Evebtually, you start to limit things. He doesn't like what you made for dinner? Tough love. You send him to bed hungry. However, given another chance, give him that option to change his attitude on the moment and correct his behavior for another outcome (hopefully positive). Say something like, "would you like to try that again?"
Disclaimer : I'm not very matured about this subject as I don't have kids yet. But I still wish to point my opinion, If u want to change a person for better, always do it gradual by giving time. Anything done in a hurried way can never be beneficial but on the contrary may have side effects. Try counselling sessions as to what the child exactly wants, they always help
Thanks. Unfortunately communication is very hard with otherside, the taking toys away is implemented, however not at the other house. The child is imitating the behaviors they see at the other house, so often the tactic of using tv show people is used. And on occasion it works. However not long term. From this the best option would be to force communications with the other side. Without it these techniques wont work...
I agree with pickles. ? I have a younger cousin who had a LOT of issues growing up. She was mean and violent and disrespectful and basically a pain to deal with. Her parents took her to a therapist and what they did was just put her in a ton of activities she loves. She had the energy to keep up with it all. Kept her busy and focused on something. She really transformed from that. It may not be the solution but it may certainly help.
I'm not good with this stuff but I hope that you can figure out the best way to approach this situation and that it gets resolved soon
Hmm thats something that can be done, they arnt currently enrolled in any outside school activities, usually due to his behavior while at them. But maybe if they are their enough and interacts with other kids enough they will learn how to behave around other kids and use up all the energy... This is definitely something that can be looked into, thankyou
But Dont the people who play this game potentially have advice they have experienced and learnt from rl that they can give? We all know how easy it is to sit behind a screen and say things we shouldnt, but in this case i am asking for help on an issue that noone in rl has been able to help with. Yet here i have people from all over the world who potential have life changing advice all with the press of a button. Dont get me wrong, your opinion is valid, but this is simply another outlet for potential help.
I agree with what pickles n wolf suggested. But, also as u pointed out. A lot of this might fail unless u get the other household where the child stays to at least change some of their ways. If u get them in after school or community activities they also will most likely be doing some of the running of the child back n forth. So they too might at least have to agree with u on the activity. And maybe getting the other household to agree with it might be a step in the right direction for them too. Sidenote- Omar, u can suck it. Despite being a game, we r real people and lots of us have kids.There is nothimg wrong with approaching a serious topic or grown up discussion. Not everyone on this game is a mindless twit with nothing nice or relevant to say.
she is asking for advice from PEOPLE on the game with like she said real life experiences, not the actual game. Last I checked this wasn't ata support. It is simply advice. She can take it or leave it. Its similar to asking a group of friends in RL what they would do in the situation.
Hmm.. my advice is just to keep your eyes on your kids, give them attention and show them love.. dont give the work of watching over your kids to just some hired nannys, share more time with them as much as possible.
Why are people obsessed with therapists? It's bizarre. My friend had issues with his stroppy step kid disrespecting her mum. He stripped her room bare of all her favourite stuff and made her earn it back week by week. She's behaved ever since.
Wow thats extreme, however may work with this child, but I'll try the activities first and use it as a last resort