I have to write a complete story in exactly forty lines (will be seen by thousands of people), any ideas?
Do you think this is okay? ------- Contest story 1. I watched with wary eyes as my closest friends turn into complete strangers. 2. All those years i thought they had been on my side, all those years of deception. 3. I wish that I could go back in time, go back to when we were all a team. 4. Thoughts of that kind are for children, though. 5. After everything that had led up to this, I learned that frivolous thoughts are a waste of precious time. 6. The only thing I can do now is wait for a chance to escape. 7. Slowly, the traitors funnel out through a small hatch. 8. Waiting until the sound of their footsteps were far enough away, I slide out from under the floorboards and dash to the window. 9. The drop is terrifying, but I know that it is all an illusion. 10. Even the soft thump of my feet landing is enough to startle a cluster of nearby birds. 11. Quietly sprinting away from the noise, I notice that no one's car is in the driveway. 12. That is a strangely normal, yet peculiar occurrence. 13. I now have to focus on getting back home, the only safe place in existence. 14. Suddenly, I stop. 15. Am I going in circles? 16. All of the trees seem the same to me, or are they the same. 17. The building I recently escaped is already out of sight. 18. Have I really gone that far? 19. My questions are answered when I hear a multiple cars passing by on a highway, completely oblivious to my situation. 20. Waving my arms like a maniac, I eventually flag down a car willing to let me hitchhike. 21. The interior of the car smells as if many carsick children had ridden in it, yet I manage to take a nap. 22. When I wake up, I am in an extremely familiar town with (hopefully) little to no danger left in it. 23. Once I dig my house key out of my pocket, I open the front door to an semi-abandoned looking living room. 24. I check the pantry, cupboards, and even the powerless fridge for something edible. 25. Of course, nothing is to be found. 26. After taking my second nap of the day, I decide to check out my old bedroom. 27. Except for the completely demolished window, my room looks similar to the way I left it years ago. 28. Humorless laughter takes over me then, the dull sound just made me feel worse. 29. How I wish I had never met that infernal spy! 30. Because of him, my life was falling apart. 31. I suppose I deserved it, though. 32. Before my life turned upside down, I was hopelessly spoiled. 33. But death...it has a way of changing you. 34. As does life, I suppose. 35. Life, in general, is a roller coaster. 36. Right now, though, I could not see the hill...yet. 37. "Psst! Leah," I heard someone whisper. 38. I turned around and saw my younger sister, Wendy (who I had begun to think was dead), poking her head out of my closet. 39. "Wendy!" I screamed in joy. 40. I guess the hill was closer than I had thought.
It's perfect. And lmao. I don't mind if you take one of my oneshots or stories, they're all fails anyways.
On line sixteen, "All these trees seem the same to me, or are they the same." Turn that into: "All these trees seem the same to me... Or all they really all the same?" I'll help you with your story! It's so good!
19. Remove the a before, "multiple cars". 21. *managed. 23. *a, not sure, but just to keep ot safe. It makes a bit more sense, but you can ignore this suggestion. Ok. I HOPE YOU WIN!!!
Yes they are! The endings look dumb after a while of brainstorming. I need to find a full-proof story. But my puny brain does not help with the thinking.
Here's the revised version ------- Contest story 1. I watched with wary eyes as my closest friends turn into complete strangers. 2. All those years i thought they had been on my side, all those years of deception. 3. I wish that I could go back in time, go back to when we were all a team. 4. Thoughts of that kind are for children, though. 5. After everything that had led up to this, I learned that frivolous thoughts are a waste of precious time. 6. The only thing I can do now is wait for a chance to escape. 7. Slowly, the traitors funnel out through a small hatch. 8. Waiting until the sound of their footsteps were far enough away, I slide out from under the floorboards and dash to the window. 9. The drop is terrifying, but I know that it is all an illusion. 10. Even the soft thump of my feet landing is enough to startle a cluster of nearby birds. 11. Quietly sprinting away from the noise, I notice that no one's car is in the driveway. 12. That is a strangely normal, yet peculiar occurrence. 13. I now have to focus on getting back home, the only safe place in existence. 14. Suddenly, I stop. 15. Am I going in circles? 16. All of the trees seem the same to me...or are they the same. 17. The building I recently escaped is already out of sight. 18. Have I really gone that far? 19. My questions are answered when I hear multiple cars passing by on a highway, completely oblivious to my situation. 20. Waving my arms like a maniac, I eventually flag down a car willing to let me hitchhike. 21. The interior of the car smells as if many carsick children had ridden in it, yet I managed to take a nap. 22. When I wake up, I am in an extremely familiar town with (hopefully) little to no danger left in it. 23. Once I dig my house key out of my pocket, I open the front door to a semi-abandoned looking living room. 24. I check the pantry, cupboards, and even the powerless fridge for something edible. 25. Of course, nothing is to be found. 26. After taking my second nap of the day, I decide to check out my old bedroom. 27. Except for the completely demolished window, my room looks similar to the way I left it years ago. 28. Humorless laughter takes over me then, the dull sound just made me feel worse. 29. How I wish I had never met that infernal spy! 30. Because of him, my life was falling apart. 31. I suppose I deserved it, though. 32. Before my life turned upside down, I was hopelessly spoiled. 33. But death...it has a way of changing you. 34. As does life, I suppose. 35. Life, in general, is a roller coaster. 36. Right now, though, I could not see the hill...yet. 37. "Psst! Leah," I heard someone whisper. 38. I turned around and saw my younger sister, Wendy (who I had begun to think was dead), poking her head out of my closet. 39. "Wendy!" I screamed in joy. 40. I guess the hill was closer than I had thought.