This is another story I am writing. I will update the rage of the end soon. I have been having writer's block lately on that story. So enjoy. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Chapter 1 My light green eyes looked up at her once or twice as she sat across from me. I guess she noticed I was staring at her, because instantly as smiled, her crystal blue eyes lit up. "What?..." She said questioningly as she tilted her head to the side. A smile spreads across my lips as I felt my cheeks flush red. "Nothing..." I said as I kept sketching. I couldn't quite get her eyes right and they needed to be perfect, beacause she was perfect. The sun had hit her just right, which made it all the better. She crawled over to me before sitting right besides me. "Whatcha drawing...?" She asked as she tried to take a peek. "Nothing!" I said with a chuckle as I moved my tablet away. "Oh, seriously now babe. What is it?..." She once again tried to take a peek, a sigh escaped from my lips as I showed her. She took a good look at it before nuzzling my neck. "It's beautiful babe...not because it's me..." She laughed slightly as she gently laid her head on my shoulder, "But because you capture the environment and the feeling so well...it's amazing and I thin-". I interrupted her, "You know I don't want to sell my drawings or paintings." "I understand that" She whispered before gently pressing her soft, pink lips onto my neck, "I just think that maybe you should put them on display for the world to see..." "Yeah...maybe" I said shaking my head, my black wavy bangs moving side to side. She brushed a strand of her brown hair behind ear, "I love you Josh..." she whispered. "I love you too...Rebecca..." I whispered back as I smiled. The park was a nice place to be with someone you love. That's when i heard the tune, the tune of an ice cream truck. "Want some ice cream?" I asked with a smile. She nodded gently before moving her head away from my shoulder. I got up from the blanket and made my way to the truck. Rebecca and I have been together for eight years. When we got together, I was only sixteen and she was fifteen. It was like a dream, I just couldn't believe she chose a guy like me. When I got to the truck, I looked at the menu on the side of the truck. I already knew Rebecca's favorite, just regular vanilla ice cream. It didn't matter the brand. This truck usually had the best vanilla ice cream, but I couldn't find any thing that was just vanilla. "Hey Tom what's up wit-" I stopped because a chocolate ice cream cone was practically shoved into my face. "For you..." A man said sternly. I looked at the man it was Tom. He looked different, not a good or bad different, a creepy different. " Erm...Thanks?" I replied as I grabbed it, "But back to-" a scream cut me short. My head instantly turned in that direction as I saw ...bodies. Everyone in the park was...dead. There was blood everywhere, guts in the streets, some heads separated from their original bodies, and other heads with their eyes plucked out from their sockets. I wanted to scream, to yell, to do something. The ice cream fell out of my hand as I now saw Rebecca being stabbed over and over by a man. I stepped forward not seeing the bat coming towards my head, everything went black once it connected. My eyes fluttered as I looked around, now being blinded by bright lights above me. 'Am I in the hospital?...' I thought as I squinted at the lights. I felt something wet trickle down my head. 'That's right I was attacked...' I winced, the pain now rushed to my head. I tried to move my legs and arms, but I was strapped down. "What the hell...?" I whispered as I tried to force myself free. Right then I started to hear cries and screams echo through the halls. 'What kind of hospital is this!?' I wondered, before my questions were answered a man walked over with a pair of scissors. He looked like a doctor, "Ah...you're awake." he said, muffled by the mask he had on. "W-where am I?..." I asked with a stuttered. The man had completely ignored my question and called over a nurse. "Make sure blood doesn't get everywhere this time..." he told the nurse. I looked at her, her face...it was deformed. Drool was dripping from her mouth as she nodded. I was so distracted that I didn't notice I was now screaming. I glanced down and saw the doctor was cutting me open with scissors! "Aaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!! S...stop!!!!!!" I screamed trying to break free. The nurse was wiping up my blood with a rag before it slid onto the floor, my vision began to get blurry from the blood loss. I turned my head to the side and I saw her, Rebecca, she was on the other side of me on an operation table as well. Blood was pouring out of her mouth, her blue eyes lifeless, "R-R-REBECCA!!!!" I screamed trying to stay awake. The nurse stabbed my leg with a needle and I was still screaming but I couldn't hear myself. I looked at the mirror on the wall by Rebecca. I saw myself, but the crazy thing was..it wasn't me. I saw a man, with brown hair and eyes, that looked to be in his mid-thirties. I then looked at the doctor my eyes shutting close as he removed his mask, I saw his face, it was me.... "Or at least that's what I've been seeing at the end of my dreams..." I said as shook my head. "It's been that same dream for the past couple of months..." I said slightly irritated . " I see..." muttered my therapist as he wrote in his tablet, "I think what you are feeling is guilt for Rebecca. Like you had something to do with her death." he said as he looked at me. "Josh you had nothing to do with it." "I know that! That's what you people keep telling me!!" I said raising my voice. "Well you were at a friend's house during Rebecca's death." He said with an raised of his eyebrow. "Y..yeah...I mean that's where I woke up..." I whispered as I shook my head, "My friend said i got there before Rebecca's...time of death", this is not what I believed. "I've been hear things though...voices" My therapist nodded. "I see..." I had no idea what I had just said and I had no idea what was about to become of me... In Hell's Asylum.
Tbh, I was kind of disappointed when it was a dream lol. Would've been cool if it wasn't. The dream thing seems to be popular right now though... Lol
Oh its going to get better . I didn't want it to be a first but then I was like eh. So I decided I was going to twist it in the story
I would cut down on the ellipses. Personally, I think they ruin the mood and make the story a little tedious if you use too many. Proofreading would also help, since I noticed a few errors. Overall a good story, though! I agree with crow in that it shouldn't have been a dream — it's an interesting start and it would've been more interesting if you continued.
I actually had my older sister proof read it. She made all the changes. Also if it wasn't a dream it wouldn't make sense of how everyone just died without him knowing or him being another person.
Chapter 2 I toss my keys on the kitchen counter before a sigh escaped from my lips. "Home Finally." I muttered, making my way to the couch. When I laid on the couch, I began to remember what the doctor had said. It's true I felt guilt about her death, but I don't remember what happened that day. I reached out towards the wooden coffee table and grabbed a piece of paper. I held it towards the light above me. My handwriting was terrible but it was still readable. What I did 1) I went out with Rebecca to dinner 2)After Dinner we went shopping 3) When we came home we got into an argument 4) She accused me of cheating. 5) I blacked out. I stared at the words 'blacked out.' I remember the words she said to me. The way she looked at me. The way she seemed broken, like she just snapped. I shouldn't have looked at that waiter like that. I knew I had her but... I don't why I did it. ~Flashback ~ I sigh as I walk in the door. "Rebecca please no more!" I say raising my voice and locking the house door. "I saw you, Josh! How can you deny looking at her? What are you sleeping with her too?!" Rebecca shouted from inside our bedroom. Her voice was cracking as if she was about to cry. "I just glanced at her! She was taking our order!!" I the. began to look around for my phone. I had left it here when we went out to eat, now I can't find it anywhere. "Glancing yeah right. You know I just can't Josh. this. us. It's not working!" She walked out of the room towards me when she said this. I could see the hurt in her eyes, the tears welling up. I really did hurt this girl. There was problems going on in our relationship and I was just making it worse. I went over to her and reach out to touch her cheek but she slapped my hand away. "Rebecca... Baby please I'm sorry... I swear I won't do it again. Just please don't leave me. " I whispered as I looked down. I then felt her hands press against my chest, she was shoving me. I stumbled back as I looked at her. I saw her lips move but I didn't hear her voice. But I knew what she said. 'I hate you...go to hell!' That's when everything went black. ~FlashBack Ends ~ I stared up at the paper before setting the paper back on the coffee table. Did I actually kill her? Is that why I blacked out? God! Nothing makes sense anymore! I lie there, not knowing what to do with myself. I never stepped foot in or near our bedroom, in fear it'll only bring bad memories, but the bad memories were already following me. I closed my eyes. after running errands and driving 4 hours to go see that doctor, I was too tired to even eat. I then fell asleep with one person on my mind, Rebecca. When I woke up I found myself in a room with myself strapped to a chair. I started to Rock the chair ,my head running with questions but somehow I remained calm. I fell backwards, my head hitting the ground. I wince at the pain before hearing a door open. "Who's there !?" I cried out. I heard the sound of soft footsteps coming my way and something scraping the ground. It sounded like a cool blade scraping down on cement. It was then when fear took hold of my body, this was another nightmare. Just a nightmare right? A man was now looking down at me with a psychotic grin. He grabbed me by the collar of my shirt picking me up and fixing me and my chair back to the way it was. He then pulled up a chair and sat right in front of me. “Do you know where you are?” he asked, his voice was rough and raspy. These words he seemed to hiss...what was there to say ? I did not know where I was nor did I know why they had me strapped down. “No. I do not.” I said as I tried to keep a calm expression. He grinned as if he could sense my fear. He then leaned back in his chair. “oh..you'll know soon.” he said as he stared at my face. I'll know soon? What was that supposed to mean? In a split second I know felt his breath on my lips, I hadn't even seen him move. He stared into my eyes, his piercing eyes frighten me And I felt like he was looking into my very soul. “You will know very soon..” I looked down at his mouth, seeing nothing but yellow missing(or broken) teeth. He then leaned to my ear. “You think you know what hell is? You have no idea.” he hissed in a whisper. I then felt the blade I heard before dig into my chest and move down. I screamed in pain as I now faced to face with the man...he was no longer a man...his eyes were black, his once healthy skin was now peeling and stunk of rotten flesh. I swore I saw a maggot. “I'll see you soon.” he said with a crackle. I woke, this time for real. I was breathing heavily as a cold sweat ran down my spin. Those words…’I'll see you soon’ it rung in my head. I heard a knock on the door. I got up and answered it immediately. It was my neighbors. They wanted to know what I was screaming about. I reassured them I was fine yet they looked at me like I lost my mind. I closed the door slowly feeling a pain in my chest. I pulled down my shirt and saw a open wound. Could it really been a dream?