I'm sorry you're going through this, I help whenever I can however I can. I hope things get better! Keep yo chin up gurl
Assume the worst to avoid disappointment. Don't assume that people will help. If you need it, try asking for help?
People who are disabled don't all feel entitled to help and may even hate it, and feel shame when people offer them help. Pride is gained through tackling adversity, and taking another minute to figure out a task may not be frustrating to everyone, it might be good practice and an achievement. I prefer to treat everyone the same. Whether disabled or not, if you're tryna open a jar, I'll wait for you to ask for help or for a sign of agitation/impatience on your face to gesture an offering of assistance. There are many different manners in this regard, and they are highly cultural and based on individuals' beliefs, philosophies, and experience with disability. đ
Ok listen. Did you know most people in that situation donât actually want help and if you try and help them theyâll get upset? Why? Because it makes that person feel like theyâre not capable of doing anything if some normie is like Uh mer gerd a handercapped persin tay cant welk no moar LEMME HELP EM and go and bother said person. If that person wanted help they would literally ask. And for that little comment of yours saying âmOsT pEOple SEe Me tHeN LoOk AWaY, aS iF I WaSnT eVeN ThEReâ thatâs how everyone elseâs everyday is like. I understand you want people to be kind and help others, but not everyone wants help. You need to think about how that one person would feel if you did help them; would they be grateful or upset? Also for the part where you said âhelp someone who is struggling mentallyâ Iâd kinda be careful with that one. Everyoneâs mental state is different. Some react positively and some react negatively. It doesnât matter what you say, youâll either get a pro or a con with that one. In my personal experience, if someone asked me to âcheer up,â âkeep my chin up,â or even asked me how my day was going or how I was feeling, I would become very anxious and annoyed. Thereâs a reason why therapists and psychiatrists avoid asking those questions because they donât know how a person will react to it. Itâs best to just not assume that someone will get all peachy and happy if you do help them in these situations youâve addressed. Itâll make you less ignorant in the long run đ
Aye once sall a disabled pers0n strugling to mug some1 so i helped em out. Gotta help deez disabled peeps yanno.
I'm curious as to what exactly you were expecting people to help you with? Like carrying groceries? Were you having difficulty getting up stairs? I'm genuinely just interested in what your struggles were. Unless i know someone personally, i don't give people extra attention just because of a disability or injury. I think people are fully capable of asking for help when it's needed and if you don't ask that's on you. I think people are more than willing to help when given the opportunity. I've worked closely with clients who have physical disabilities, walkers, wheelchairs etc. Being in customer service i loved to cater to my clients, opening doors and pulling out chairs, but you would be surprised by the sheer stength and independence some of these women have. I do not underestimate anyones capabilities because I've seen first hand what determination can achieve.
Everything that needs to be said has been said. I donât believe you meant this to come off as an âoh poor meâ thread but it kinda did come off like that. You may have had the best of intentions but, yâknow, this just wasnât the place for âem.
I've always thought that people are mostly good. You just need to ask for help if you need it, most people would feel rude forcing help on you or anyone.
Also The Alpha cripple - asker! Versus The Beta cripple - looking at everyone spitefully, expecting help. Is a worthy meme for this
I've been in customer service a long time, and I agree with a lot of the above statements. I learned quickly when I was young that people, in general, don't want to be treated special. Even the old ladies who barely look like they can take their case of wine out to the car will sometimes get offended when I offer to carry it for them, even though I offer to help everyone. To me, part of being an adult is learning to communicate efficiently with others. We have a tasting room with no chairs, but occasionally we get disabled people who can't stand for long, and they just ask if we have a chair. The worse that can happen when you ask for help is you end up in the same situation as before you asked, so why not try?