Hello, I'm a god of this solar system, And I'm going to make a new planet As decided by assembly, My budget's 10 quintillion Japanese yen I wouldn't say it's an abundant amount, But that's just where I shine; With liberal use of my godly saving skills, I'll at least try to make things work... I made some low-budget creatures And dubbed them humans Their cheap little heads are full of faults; They're lacking seven dozen parts They're a rather troublesome, over-emotional sort; They've always got troubles, so they pray to me... Don't pray like it's a toll-free call, dammit! I'm the one who has to work the costs! If you waste money on that kind of junk, I'll have less to spend on the ozone layer! Hell, I might as well link your peanut brains To a LAN connection with the heavens! The creatures I had dubbed humans Pondered with their deficient brains They were so curious and energetic, They dared to seek their planet's secrets The crust that was just packed with cotton, The Ice Age - really just turning off the AC; Those dinosaur fossils are plastic models of mine... Pay no attention to any of it! Mammoths went extinct while the breakers were out We're risking a whole planet with electricity! I'm borrowing from the god of Venus, But the price is going up, so I've gotta be stingy! At this rate, we'll be bankrupt in a few more years... I've got to handle this somehow! With funds, I could've made the axis totally straight, And made perfect creatures too - but as it happens, The axis's tilt birthed seasons, and imperfect hearts birthed love... It was a pretty good planet after all... ..... .... But I can't do it anymore! I'm selling this crap planet! And then I'll pay off heaven's national debt! So walk with your heads high, you pitiful people! You'll be dead soon without me, though! (LOL!)