Once there was a Angel his name was Gaara he was a ill-tempered Angel who hated humanity for all the sin they created.One day he went to Earth with out permission an tricked humans into all sorts of things making the Lord angry,when he finally did return he was cast out of heaven an sent back to Earth as a fallen angel.This made Gaara enraged changing his white wings grey from which he set out to kill as many unholy humans that he blamed for his punishment.As days turned to weeks and weejs to months he grew darker an stronger seeking only revenge on the humans an angels for casting him out he started collecting souls of each human he killed forming a army to rise against all of Heaven to gain control once an for all…
Check your spelling nice story use detail explain what he did it read a little rushed take your time your readers not going anywhere lol
This feel like a list. (1. There's an angel 2. His name is Gaara 3.he is a fallen angel) c'mon! Not just facts but you need some descriptions. How things taste, feel, smell, sound, look. DETAILS DETAILS DETAILS. It's a good story line but what makes a good story great is 1.Grammar 2. Spelling and 3. Details.
Sorry about the grammer I am not great with it an the story will continue soon with better detail an a full story line
Oh and sorry one last tip. An adverb does a world of good for a sentence. Adverb: word that ends in -ly.