Here comes some jokes, do do do do. Joke #1 Jim’s car is swerving all over the road so a cop pulls him over, “Step out of the car” says the cop, “I am going to need you to take a breathalyzer test.” “I can’t”, Jim responds “You see I have very bad asthma, that can set off an attack.” “Alright,” says the cop, “then you’re going to have to take a blood test.” “Can’t do that either,” Jim responds, “I am a hemophiliac, if a wound is opened, I won’t stop bleeding, and I could bleed to death.” “Ok,” the cop answers “then I will need a urine sample.” “Sorry,” says Jim “I also have diabetes, that could push my sugar count really low.” “Fine, so just come on out, and walk a straight line for me.” “Can’t do that either” responds Jim. “Why not?” Demanded the exasperated cop. “Well, because I’m drunk!” Joke #2 Well, this is more like a story about my dad's friend a while ago So this guy, we'll call him Mario, was doing shrooms (a nickname for some drug). It makes you VERY high. (And get it? Mario? Shrooms? Mushrooms?) So Mario thought it was a good idea to go out driving while on this drug. Boy, was it a good story to tell. So he got onto the highway, the wind blowing in his hair, yelling his face off out the window, pumping his fist in the air out the window. Just imagine this picture in your head. Then, of course, a cop pulls him over for the speed he was going. He asks Mario, "Son. Do you know the speed you were going?" Mario says, "I dunno. 70? 80?" Then the cop says, "Son...you were going 5." Lol, so if you just imagine this high person going down the highway going five mph and screaming his head off, it's hilarious If you're not laughing, imagine it again
that's awesome... Mine sucks, but hey A monkey, an elephant, a giraffe, a blonde, a brunette, a redhead, a German, a Canadian, an America, a priest and a rabbi all walk into a bar. "what is this, some kinda joke?" Says the bartender Du-dum tss