Frotmore the Good one

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by Metal_Militia, Sep 3, 2012.

  1. *I walk down the cobblestone street, looking at all the inns and stores as I walk by, cursing myself for waiting till the last minute. I look into the sky* It's dinner time, I mustn't be late home.*I slowly breathe watching my breath on that cool Autumn's evening* Why did I have to come here...I should have known everything would be closed!*I start shivering looking around for any sign of smoke....looking and searching....as it gets harder and harder to walk i finally spot smoke and i run, run until i can't no more. I open the door and drop to the floor breathing heavily, i slowly crawl to the fire letting the warmth spread throughout my body* Hello? Are you okay?!*said a woman's voice behind me* H-h-hello...yes i'm fine I-i-i just ne-need to warm up..*i curl into a ball as the woman lays a blanket over me* Who are you? Why are you here?*the woman said persistently* I am Drakian G-g-grothwar, son of Amrass Grothwar. I was sent here because he said people on this side of town sell venison..Do you?*I look at her expectantly color returning to me* Yes we do! It's the best on this side of town! It will only cost 20 gold pieces.*I reach into my pocket and pull out 20 gold pieces and dump them into the woman's hand smiling while she smiles back.* I will be right back I will go get your meat! *i yawn and look around curiously* Ok... *she wanders off into a back room as a slowly get up and brush myself off and i look around the counter and the cabinets as i wipe back my dark brown hair. I look into an old looking mirror and i look back into my brilliant green eyes. Then i see something just to the right of my reflection...something green...like a round green stone. Then it hits me, could it be? A DRAGON EGG?!? I quickly sweep it into my bag just as the lady walks in with the meat, i hurriedly take it* Yeahumthanksbye *i rocket out of the door hardly looking at the sign as i leave and i think to myself "Frotmore inn, interesting..." and i continue down the street faster than ever dodging people left and right and then i trip into a carriage heading straight for my house"Not a bad ride i think" and i look at the egg the whole way there inspecting it..........then finally i get home and i race inside putting the meat on the table and racing to my room stashing the eggs under my bed and i sit on top of my bed waiting....when i hear "CRAAAAACCCKKKK!".......a couple seconds later "CRRRRRRRACCCKKKKK!!!" the timespan kept getting closer and closer and i looked under my bed to see a slimy reptile. I pick it up and i feel a weird burning sensation go through my body and i yelp* Whats going on Drakian?!?*my dad yells* Nothing father!*i pick it up again as it speaks to me in my mind "Hello Drakian, you are the perhaps the last dragon rider and i am your dragon. Now feed me, it has been a long 238 years..." and i do so.
     
  2. I will right more later if wanted, thank you
     
  3. OMG!!!! OMG OMG OMG!!!!! THIS IS FANTASTIC I REALLY LIKE IT LOLZ!
     
  4. Haha welcome lol ... Funny I was doing an rp similar to this with a friend haha you should bring it into the one you just joined!  well you kinda did but you know what I mean
     
  5. Yeah haha. I hope i get good reveiws or posts or comments whatever XD
     
  6. Use paragraphs and LOTS of detail. And please don't write it in rp form. Otherwise, good start!
     
  7. IM SORRY
     
  8. How is it a good start?!? You just took everything away and made it seem like shit
     
  9. It's a good start, she just gave you advice to make your story better...
     
  10. I know but still. She made it sound like shit.
     
  11. No I didn't… I like it!
     
  12. Ok, thanks. Next time I write it will be out of rp form, and that
     
  13. *and ill try to add details. Btw, im not very good with paragraphs
     
  14. It's fine, just try
     
  15. "AHH YOU CAN TALK!!!!" i scream loudly.
    "Well of course I can Drakian, dragons are the mightiest of all", he says in my mind.
    "Er okay", I say to him as my father walks in and i jump and fall backwards onto the floor. "Don't scare me like that father!" i yell breathing fast.
    "I'm sorry," he looks around my room and he sees the dragon, "T-T-THATS A DRAGON!!!!" he runs out of my room dragging me with him.
    "Why are you doing this?!?!" i cry.
    "Please tell me you didn't touch it!" he says anxiously.
    "Of course I touched it! It's a DRAGON!" I say admiringly. He looks at me grimly, but does not say a word and actually stops.
    "Your perhaps the last dragon rider there is, why did it have to be you...." he says sadly, shaking his head.
    "Whatever the task is, I can do it!" i say firmly.
    "You have to go to the Land of the Dwarves, they were the first ever Dragon Riders. Good luck, you must go by yourself," he says quietly.
    I run into my 14x20 room hurriedly and i grab my dragon, then i hurry putting needed items into my bag. "Frotmore were going to the land of the elves," i say and he nods his head up and down. I shake my head and continue to pack dried meat, water, and clothes. Then I walk over to my fathers sword cabinet and i slowly looking into, seeing the strongest and best made of swords and i reach in grabbing the Dwarven sword that has a green tint to the steel and an emerald on its hilt. I grin sneakily and grab the sheath and wrap it around my waist putting the sword into it and i crawl through the window setting upon my hard journey....
     
  16. Apprarently no one likes XD ok ill stop making the story :D have a good night!
     
  17. Bumpit's good