As Niki walks down the hallway in her school she hears whispering all around her."Uh who's there?" She says and the whispering suddenly stops.She continues her walk to class. "Ok now take out your notebooks class." Ms.Yumi says. She rushes to her seat before Ms.Yumi could notice but she noticed. "Nikik I suppose you decided to come to class?" She says harshly.
"Uh err yes Ms.Yumi" Niki replys. "Good now get your notebook out." Ms.Yumi replys. After class a boy walks up. "Your always late no one likes you." He says
You should make a new paragraph every time someone new speaks. And there are a lot of spelling/grammar mistakes.
Perhaps instead of outright flaming, you could try constructive criticism. For example: When another person is speaking, you need to start another line. "Hello." Said James. "Hi!" Simon replied.