Finding a Murderer

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by awesomemandy, Dec 5, 2011.

  1. Here's another story I'm making I'm posting it here and Fan Fiction so more people can see it, and I will update it on both of them Also, wall me if you want to be notified of when I update this Bump if you want updates
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    The taste of my warm, metallic blood filled my mouth. I am as good as dead, I thought to myself. "Well, isn't this fun?" the man that had lured me into the woods spoke up. He was on top of me, making sure I couldn't escape, although I don't think that is humanly possible considering all of the knife wounds on my arms and legs.

    A sharp pain came through my calf, and I yelped in pain, splattering blood all over the man's face. It didn't take long for me to be drowning in my own blood again.

    "What's that? More pain? Already on it," he smirked at me. I was surprised when he stood up, but my surprise faded as he lifted his foot up and sent it down with a smashing blow. "Stop!" I screamed. "Stop!" I feel he just broke three of my ribs.

    "You know, you're right. I'll just let you writhe in pain as you slowly, painfully die in this very spot," he smirked again. Die, I thought. What a completely, unbearably cruel word.

    "Murderer," I whispered as loud as I could. He responded to a swift kick to my chest and ran off. I heard an unbelievably loud crack. There goes my fourth rib, I thought.

    Suddenly, I remembered that I still had my phone. I pulled it out as quickly as I could and typed out "911", leaving crimson red marks on my phone. "Hello, this is 911 how may we help you?" the lady answered after one ring. I couldn't answer. "Hello? Are you there?" she said, waiting a moment for a response.

    "Help," I stuttered. That was all I could say before I felt my eyes slowly drooping, letting me drift off into unconciousness.
     
  2. Did anyone read it?
     
  3. No!!! Why?! 
     
  4. Haha If you want an update tell me But I want more people to want an update
     
  5. Update pleasee I want to read the rest
     
  6. This is very good Mandy.
    I wanna know what happens next!!
     
  7. so dark and brutal great composition though wish i could write like that
     
  8. UPDATE! I want to watch you squirm
     
  9. Update me!!
     
  10. Wouldn't a 911 dispatcher usually say "911, what is your emergency?" and not "How can I help you?"? I mean anyone who calls 911 obviously needs help.

    But the story's pretty good so far.