Ah it's my first time writing in the forums so I thought I'd start out with a story. Thanks for reading and well bump if you enjoy *-* I may not update it constantly, but I will let you know when I do, enjoy? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Walking down a deserted hall many conflicted emotions seem to infiltrate our naked minds as we dwell away in the satanic insanity that envelopes us into the caverns of extreme darkness. Yet there is one fading light at the end gasping feeling the urge to run to it! Our only chance...at life. Welcome to heaven? His name was Peter Va'nstrou he claimed to be an angel~ Nothing was angelic about him, when you imagine an angel they wear white, and have combed hair, beautiful glorious white wings that could fly for miles and an irresistible beauty attractive to all genders. It's nostalgic because I don't feel that way towards him. Not even close, his hair scattered a stained shirt and twisted jeans he wore his glasses seemed a bit off, but what's really 'off' are the wings. Dark black and outstretched towards me as if they could just reach out and grab me. A man appeared behind him wearing a suit of pure dark silk his hair had a sort of gleaming gel he looked at me taking my arm and observing it closely as if it were some tool. "This is the boy Peter?" He said his voice had this cool, but chilling edge to it. Peter nodded then added "I think!" I sat there feeling my arms being pulled, turned, and observed by a completely absolute stranger yet that brought me back into a deep thought. The tree leaves swayed softly underneath the hushing wind carrying it to who knows where? My mother's song sang itself in my head quiet and gentle resembling her beautiful voice... "As you sleep they watch you protect you and love you so well, when you die believe me they rescue you from pits of hell, Do not trust those who banish you Protect those who you love, Because if Satan's followers find you You might not live at all..." As the verses replayed themselves in my mind slowly one verse caught me. "...If their wings shine black Then hurry back because to Satan you they will bring..."' I shivered slowly and stared at Peter his wings fluttering scattering dark feathers though the feathers shined and had a darkening glow. "If their wings shine black Then hurry back...?" I thought but to where? A harsh tug on my shirt pulled me up the man in the suit removed his dark glasses and stared at my face his just an inch away "You boy, you...may have to come with us," he muttered softly his breath smelled like minty mouthwash, but for some reason I smelled a strong smell of blood that wasn't his beneath it. I choked before saying, "I—" he cut me off quickly and sharply smiling a crooked smile. He placed me down and dusted me off. "Sorry about that I didn't realize you could speak," he held out a firm hand I took it as I took it he pulled me in and whispered in my ear. "It's nice to meet you, I'm Satan," I froze, "...To Satan you they will bring..."
I like it! I think it's creative, it coud be more descriptive and less straightforward I suggest mor paragraphing and it seems like you need a mor complex structure but to me I think you're doing great Jun-Jun ^-^ Bump