I gave her everything I had, Until I was broken down bad. Extorted me out of all my love. She took my heart and left me lonely. I miss how she used to hold me. Broken hearts might be contagious, I'm aware of it but barely conscious. Her initial intent must be malicious. She's good at being inconspicuous. To her my turmoil was delicious. She must've fed off of my sorrow. Used my heart like a item to borrow, And told me she'd see me tomorrow. Then tomorrow suddenly came, And she didn't feel any shame. She took my love for granted, And left me feeling abandoned. I never knew she's a heart breaker. She has mad cake like a baker, And pretended to have class... Too bad her heart ain't as big as her ass.
Not sure if it’s what he means, but I think cake is slang for money in this context. Since, I’m here might as well offer constructive criticism. This is what I mean by lead your readers... so they aren’t as confused about where you’re headed. Use vocabulary/slang as a tool to highlight your point in context, rather than just to show you have the ability write the word or are “down with the lingo” and it will come off better.
He cares. I tend to make complicated things simple instead of writing things that put the simplest concepts in the most complicated or vaguest way possible. What sugar, salt, and other spices are to cooking is what words can be to his writing. Too much = eww... Not enough = similar... I can see where he is trying to go with it... I’m just trying to help him get there and understand why certain placements of literary devices or -seasoning-... can help and certain other placements can harm. Liking or disliking something is an opinion... but not necessarily valuable. The ability to explain why you like or dislike something in an educated manner for the purpose of teaching someone is invaluable. As an artist myself, I appreciate when someone takes the time to perform a proper analysis, especially when they are a peer using a similar medium to express their thoughts. There are rules and guidelines, and they can be broken artistically, of course, but the reason they were broken should still make sense to the consumer/listener/reader. He can still use those words... and say things how he wants to say them... but by adding just a few things and/or omitting others the meaning might be understood better or felt more by other people. I know... because he put on a competition for Valentine’s Day this year. It was kept very silent, but I was the winner of that competition. He and I have argued in the past but, now he knows I’m only trying to help.
Wow didn’t need your life sorry. You’re an idiot if you think a player is going to read all that. Haha nerds follow the coc.
Have you guys never heard "dat cake doe" when a chick with ass walks by. y u writing paragraphs for this crap. thats all it means. Ass.
Yes, I have. I was hoping since he said ass literally two sentences later... that in that sentence cake was linking back to the title... extortion. Maybe I am the only one who gets that intricate with my writing.