English language

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by -VIIlIlIX-CMG-Kratos-XIlIlIIV-, Apr 4, 2014.

  1. Let’s face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren’t invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn’t it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on. English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn’t a race at all). That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And finally, why doesn't "buick" rhyme with "quick"?
     
  2. No one gives a flying fuck.
     
  3. ? oh wow, google has some cool stuff doesn't it? #unoriginal
     
  4. You have completely screwed up my mind.
     
  5. die and dice ? ily
     
  6. YOEO (you only English once)
     
  7. I like this thread :D

    Go rot in a pit of burning sulfur, Kristi :)
     
  8. YOSFO (YOU ONLY SPITFIRE ONCE)?
     
  9. Pickles is right though. I've read this in a book before.
     
  10. I absolutely love this thread.
     
  11. I seen this before ?
     
  12. ermagawsh that was so long to read 
     
  13. Support.

    Although, if it was copied from the web or a book, then maybe give the author of it some credit? Or else isn't that plagiarism?

    But either way, I like it.
     
  14. I never claimed to be the original creator. Yes I found it somewhere too. I posted it cause I found it interesting and wanted to share.
     
  15. ? what if I don't want to rot In that pit?
     
  16. Then you should still give the author the credit. But I enjoyed reading it non the less.
     
  17. This fucked me up, man.