The word clearly says it all. I know I'll get trolls and people telling me get off here and go get help, but when help fails, how do you move on? When you lose 3 important people to cancer and find out your friend is stage 4 and you lose the other important person in your life and you fall into a deep spiral of depression and feel so alone because you have no one left, how do you move on? I received the news earlier today... I've tried staying positive and prayed and done what I know I can, yet I've done nothing but cry as memories of the past one flood my mind and take me to dark places even while on my anti depressant... The one thing meant to keep me together isn't helping. I've tried music and writing and making jewelry and staying positive, but the pain slowly creeps back in pulling and weighing me down into the dark abyss I try so hard to avoid. I don't know where to turn to. I told her I'd pray for her, but how can I stay strong for her when I'm afraid of losing my friend to the curse that I've lost family to? So, trolls go ahead and do your worst, since you're basically just a cyber bully, but know this... When you watch and lose people to cancer and the strongest people you know end up the weakest, then you'll know true heartbreak and maybe just maybe you might understand why I'm reaching out. Until then, do your worst, seriously not the worst I've dealt with. So, anybody, besides the cyber bully trolls, can give me advice to ease this heartbreak, I appreciate it. (Please forgive grammatical and punctuational errors because I'm crying and unable to see clearly. Thank you)
I think the rough times can be a learning opportunity for people. My dad died from esophageal cancer in 2014, and after that, my family doesn't speak to eachother. And, yeah, it's heartbreaking. Like losing one of the people you care about the most isn't enough. I don't think young people think about death very much, but all of us will die. And we are never guaranteed tomorrow. So be your best you, love the people you have left. Go into the world and meet new people to love. And that advice may make you want to barf or hate me right now, I know that feeling too. That nothing anyone said, despite their best efforts, made anything any better. And that is also okay. You have to grieve, you have to cry and feel all the pain. Some days I was a wreck, some days I was numb, some days I hated everyone. It feels like it will never get easier, you'll either be a crying wreck or trying to avoid the painful feelings, or somewhere confused in the middle. But overtime it does get easier. Just remember to eat healthy-ish and take care of yourself, so you don't damage yourself in a way that you may regret later. And be there for your friend, but don't forget your own needs too. Being a caretaker can help the person dying so much, but it can be a huge burden on your health if you don't take care of yourself (I ended up in the ER with blood poisoning from a neglected kidney infection while I was taking care of my dad. I hadn't even thought much of how lousy I felt until that morning when I only had the strength to get out of bed to the couch). Most cities also have free grief support groups-check online, they are usually at local hospitals. Especially for family members who lost people to cancer. The one I attended just wasn't a good fit for me, but I could see it was helpful for a majority of the people there. As it's the second most common killer of people (at least in the US), there's a lot of people who have dealt with it, and lots of people who will if they haven't yet. The hard times can make you a more sympathetic and caring person. Sometimes people just need someone to listen too. Anyways, Take care! ??
I forgot to mention your friend's oncology center likely has more information than you'll need. Get booklets, brochures...they probably have support groups too. Our coffee table at my dad's became our dump place for information: all the way from his diagnosis to hospice. The chemo nurses are also wonderful contacts.
There is nothing no one can say to make it better. I lost my two of my grandfathers to cancer. My dad has fought cancer and won lucky. My sister has cancer and refusing treatment. People say they are not in no pain no more with is true. I have lost alot of love ones to cancer. You just got to keep faith. Just know that we love you and we are praying for her.
It's also a good idea to make your own advanced directive or living will, because believe me, your family and friends will not know your wishes when you are unconscious in an ICU. I know I do not want to suffer like my dad did the last two weeks of his life.
I think almost everyone in the world have been affected by cancer, one member or relative in every family either suffering or survival of cancer ..... It's as much suffering of close ones as the victims
It herts yes when flamey an friend in up with cancer last year I when trow it he came home he couldn't even walk it took me an my mom to help him do anything I would do it all over again now I have my mawmaw brother to tell us my mom sister keep it for us that mawmaw got it but sis if u ever want to talk u can call me an we can talk about
Cancer sucks I've lost multiple family members to since I was 13. Honestly, time isn't a healer some days it's just easier than others. All you gotta think is that person wouldn't want you sitting there wasting your life mourning them. Some days are going to suck especially when it comes to their birthdays or death anniversaries. Grief is like a suitcase under your bed that you got to carry with you everyday. Some days it's light as a feather and others it's heavier than a sack of rocks. All you can do is motivate yourself to push harder and make them proud. Live your life to the fullest and don't restrict yourself from something you may regret
I usually annoy tf outta people but obviously this is a serious matter. Cancer sucks and it sucks even more when it takes someone from you. I've lost one of my close friends a few years ago from Cancer. The heartbreak you get from it is indeed super painful, however, you yourself have to be strong. No one can make you feel better aside from yourself. Hopefully you'll find a way to move past it all, tc.
Accept that they are gone, keep yourself and mind busy and over time you will slowly start to heal but a part of you will never move on. Because face it "move on" basically means to forget about them and you won't at times you will think about them, remember good times you had with them, and you're gonna miss them. Good luck.
I appreciate all the replies, I really do. Because all the cancer related deaths are recent (grandma in 2011, grandpa July 4th last year, and great aunt towards the end of last year), it just feels like I've had no time to heal or accept them passing. Especially, since I was raised by my grandparents, it's been extremely rough. It just really hurts now that it's a friend I go to therapy with. I've cried all day yesterday and today have to keep a brave face during a jewelry show and struggling to figure out how. I've only had 4 hours of sleep, struggled to stay asleep and will be working 13-14 hours. It's a good distraction or so I hope. My grandma had pancreatic cancer, my grandpa liver cancer, great aunt has liver and kidney cancers, and my friend has stage four liver and blood cancers. Of everything, I feel useless. I want to help and those who know me, know I like to help, but here, I'm clueless as how to help. I have faith and I believe, but it feels like that faith is slowly breaking while I'm trying to stay strong. I've got one tattoo memorializing my dad who passed, and been thinking about getting three sets of cancer ribbons for those I've lost. Not original, I understand, but maybe it'll help ease the pain like it did with my dad. And what's worse, is one of my pit bulls (please don't be mean he's a big baby and a bed hog with lethal gas), has been treated for tumors, one was cancerous. So, it's like cancer doesn't care if it's an animal or human. It just takes life.
I hate the word cancer for some reason. I get all anxious about it and knowing some people have it makes it all worse. Cancer sucks. But all I will say is just keep staying strong, take care.
Also it's sad as well cause with most charities majority of the money donations goes into their marketing campaigns etc. Especially with mega charities, with all the donations cancer research receive you think you would hear some progress or something. I think with prostate cancer they have made improvements. Closest I've heard is marry Jane helping some people with cancer. But I don't really do much research.
So sorry to hear. I was raised by my grandparents too. Just in August my papa, who was more like a dad to me died from a cancer called mesothelioma. I know it hurts and I know nothing I say can make it better but if you ever want someone you can just talk to, you can message me.
I've lost my grandfather to cancer. I don't remember much because i was small. I feel like in situations like this, it's best to be with a group of people or maybe just a person. Try not to be alone. When i recently lost a friend, i figured it and that helped me cope better with the situation. Stay strong, you got this
And so it gets worse... I'm at my mental and physical breaking point... only 4 hours of sleep, being plagued with constant anxiety attacks, and another real life friend is acting weird and distant (unrelated to the friend with cancer). How do I keep it together? My trauma therapy and one on one psychology therapy isn't helping anymore and on top of all that, it feels that as retired us army soldier, that I'm singled out like the rest of the soldiers. Everyone thinks we have the right help, but reality, we don't. My friend with cancer is retired military, also. And see how that helped her. It was first diagnosed as invasive ductile carcinoma, but turned out stage 4 liver and blood cancer. If this is the help us veterans are gonna receive, then America, I'm ashamed. You've failed us. Failed the ones who volunteered to risk their lives to protect your freedoms and rights, yet you can't even help us. I'm at my lowest point. So much so, that I can't care anymore. I'm feeling more and more of a failure than a soldier who honorably served in the US military. Where is the help when at my weakest? When I helped, by fighting a war for you. I have nothing left. My dad is dead, my grandparents are dead, and I have a mom who said I was a mistake and wished I was never born who considered me a problem. What do I have to show for my 28 Years? Two published poems and an honorable military service. I feel like in today's, society that it's nothing, that it's meaningless. I'm falling endlessly in a dark abyss with no sign of light or glimmer of hope. My depression has reached an all time worse. I'm trying to reach for help, when all other has failed. I'm not whining or crying. I'm asking for help when I have nothing more.