BloodyJoey

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by ItsMariah, Jan 12, 2014.

  1. Hi its me Mariah today I try to spice up bloody Mary with a new story BloodyJoey
    --------------------------------------
    It was 1:00 CamadenVally 2014

    Ruby,Mathew.Claire Are telling ghost storys
    Its Mathews turn Little Mathew always told
    The best storys

    (AHEM ahem)

    It was a Regular.night in Savahnna Hills
    Three hikers were Hikeing up They were
    Going camping of course.When one camper
    Said

    "Hey we can set up here."

    "Yea sure said camper 2"

    They Begin unpacking When a
    Strange tree fell Upon camper 3
    Oh CRAP Aaaa camper 2 was smart
    He ran but camper 1 Oh camper 1
    Was a daredevil She decided to stay

    "A little tree fallin dosent scare me Ha"

    She then set up and Ate dinner
    The only noise was her tapping.
    Her gray shiny spoon

    Then she Hurryed to bed
    But little did she know.
    Something strange was
    About to happen

    Were not talking BloodyMary
    Oh no belive me Were talkinf
    BloodyJoey see Joey was a
    Nice. Boy but always there
    Was blood on him. He had 0
    Friends because of that but oh no
    Finnaly Joey was 19 One day he decided
    To ride his old MiniCooper Suddently a
    Cop stopped him and said

    "What the hell do you think you're doin son?"

    "Nothing he said I was just"

    "Say is that blood"?

    Short momments later after Joey explained he had
    Been arrested Since that someone Really framed him
    The biggest killer in the world Dominick Powers Killed.
    Anyone he could get that son of a gun even Almost
    Killed the. President well they framed Joey Always Joey
    So now that wasent Joey who knocked the tree down
    It was Dominick.

    It was a fresh early morning Rita the camper
    Woke up

    "What a ni--"
    Suddently a car almost ran Rita over
    It was a man he had on black hoodie black hair and
    "Whoa I better pack up Things are gettn to dangrous even for me"

    As Rita was packing up She fell out Just plain fell flat faced on the ground
    "She then woke up In.a cage And she saw the man

    "Welcome to hell he said. Now how about a little hmm facial work?"

    "No no let me out"

    Come on we haven't even started"

    The man grabs a saw and cuts Rita's. Face in half"

    And writes on her arm Victim number 1000

    "Hahaha he burst out a. Big laugh"

    "Let's see about 1001"


    "WOW Mathew great story"
    "Hey who is that behind us"

    "Well who do you think it is?" :)
     
  2. I couldn't really understand 
     
  3. There are a ton of spelling/grammar/punctuation/capitalization mistakes. Paragraphs are also being made sporadically, and overall, this is a very confusing and difficult to read story.