In what ways are you trying to improve as a person? How do you go about making these changes and do you have suggestions for making it easier? I'll be gifting randomly throughout the thread and using your answers as inspiration. I have recently been struggling with disliking neediness and attention-seeking behavior in others while also trying to remind myself that, when people exhibit these behaviors, they often need a friend or just a bit of positive energy. It has definitely been a struggle to approach each individual with love and affection while not coddling them and I am not quite good at it yet. Above all else, though, I am working on not being so sensitive and to not be so easily manipulated and naive. I tend to love and trust everyone so openly and I don't guard myself very well or pick up on obvious clues that certain people are bad news. Even when I know, without a doubt, that some people are toxic, I still find myself vulnerable to them and am working on reminding myself to say no, to walk away from negativity and to take space and time for myself when needed, in spite of the feelings of others. TLDR; You don't gotta read passed the first sentence.
People walk all over anyone they can so I learned not to care about anyone, it's been wonderful. Everyone is only in it for themselves and no one cares about you or your needs. Once you learn that you can live. Everyone leaves. Everyone is the same. Everyone is fake.
I’m on the opposite end of that spectrum. I tend to coddle and I guess “encourage” neediness and attention seeking behavior, especially when it deals with mental health, instead of correcting them and letting them know it isn’t okay. I’m slowly trying to integrate being more honest about my feelings instead of trying to spare theirs and making them think what they’re doing is acceptable.
Actually the book points out, that people with absolute mindsets are the easiest trigger to toxic people. Generalizations of any kind, promote the hatred mind set. All people this. All blacks that. Etc.
Tbh i was (and sometimes still can be) a super toxic and negative person. Like i was feeling so awful and depressed that i’d lash out at people online. Because of this i’ve lost friends and i realized that being that way wasn’t making me any happier, in fact, it was making me feel even worse and the way i was treating people was the same exact way that people used to (and still do) treat me and i personally didn’t like it very much, why would anyone else? So slowly but surely i’ve been working in bettering myself as a person. I try to spread positivity when and where I can. Sometimes it’s hard because no matter how good I can be to some people they’ll just be awful and nasty regardless. I’m also trying hard not to cling to people after they’ve treated me poorly or if we’ve had a falling out, i tend to check up on their social media’s to see how they’re doing and if they miss me (but i wont actually talk to them or reach out to them) but they never do lol so it ends up making me depressed and miss them even more. this is a really bad habit i’d like to change. I’m also trying to be better in terms of my eating disorder, i still can eat “decent” meals every day but those negative thoughts still are there. it’s hard but i’m trying to love myself more. I don’t think i’m succeeding in that department.
Oooh, I will look into it! Ty Todd! I mean, you are not totally wrong, though you are not totally right either.
Omg, I feel this, too. I think a lot of my flaws tie together, so it makes sense that they sort of spiderweb into others. If you find anything that makes it easier for you, please share! I am very proud of the goals you are setting for yourself. I think it is clear that you are working towards them and not just, like, saying you are like a lot of people do. It is not easy, I know, but I believe in you.
I have the same problem. I tend to beat around the bush when it comes to being honest with people. I want to practice being more blunt but find i can't find a nice/blunt balance.
Honestly, I’m not very helpful or caring to people when it comes to their problems. It sounds really bad, but I hate sugar coating things when they don’t need to be. I just can’t stand it when people act overly sensitive to certain things. I’m definitely more of a bad cop when it comes to giving someone advice. I’m also not the greatest person to come to if you need cheering up unfortunately. I’m just not into giving pity parties to people who are just acting out for attention. So I realize I need to learn how to be more understanding of other people’s needs. I also need to learn how to be a kinder person overall.
It is really difficult to find the right balance. I think it is important to have people that are brutally honest around, though. Like, personally, I have so many "yes" friends that I would have appreciated more honesty from in the past. I had terrible eyebrows for months, for instance. Lmao
Ummm I don’t group myself with people because when they’re negative it reflects on me and my choices in friends/etc I just talk to who I please when I please and say anything I please. I only have myself to worry about because often times in life the negative/toxic people are popularized even with celebrities so if I do wrong it’s only on my own shoulders not anyone else’s and vice versa I also try to only spread positivity on pimd and not let outside things change my time on here. Like once I open pimd everything else shuts off. So I focus on enjoying my time and trying to help others do the same with theirs. Whether it’s just posting positive forum messages or helping someone learn something in pm or whatever it may be, just staying positive and peppy even if personally it’s not my best day I’d rather make someone else’s day better There’s also been plenty of times I’ve been busy with something off pimd but helping someone in pm with things (like learning them bb codings) and rather than just ignore them I try to do as much as I can and multi task. I dunno man I’m just rambling thoughts so bye
Oof, oo, let's go. Last year, I was finally properly diagnosed with a impulsive behavior disorder, as well as the already known anxiety. I was previously being treated for my anxiety, but not for the impulsive behavior, which caused me a lot of issues in my life. When I moved to another city, hence changed psychiatrist, at the beginning he continued the treatment I was following, but he stated it really wasn't the proper one for me and that we'd be changing it, eventually. I also asked him to contact me with a cognitive behavioral therapist, as I've been doing Freudian psychoanalysis for about ten years (with breaks), but not really good results. In fact I dare to say it was a very toxic therapy for me most of the time (sometimes it had its good things, too). Now I see it more like a philosophy to find the deepest inner truth than a practical therapy, what I want and need now. So he contacted me with a CBT, and that legit changed my life, along with a change of medication. One of the first things the therapist did is making me realize I wasn't guilty of my actions, that I genuinely couldn't control then even if I tried, while before I've been guilt tripped by family, and made believe that I could change just if I wanted by my old therapist. Just this was a huge relief. Now, with the support of medication and therapy, I improved A LOT. Moral of the story: don't be afraid to seek help when you need it, whatever the reason is. Second moral of the story: if the therapy you started first isn't cutting it, DON'T BE AFRAID to leave it and try another type or approach of it. Same with psychiatrists and meds.