...you see, yesterday, I was playing with my flying fire truck when I got bored. I thought, "I know! I'll just combine two of my favorite things for the ultimate fun time experience!" Turns out my two most favorite things are penguins and violence, so I gave the penguins weapons like swords, guns, and foam bats, but then they took over NYC. So I then used billions of dollars to develop the "Turtle Tank", which was basically a giant turtle walker armed with machine and tank guns. Turtle Tank took care of the penguins, but then I found this neat button. I pressed it and it turns out the button made a gas that reanimated dead bodies and made them zombies. It was a good thing I was wearing my stylish gas mask! I spent the next few weeks with Turtle Tank, fighting off the hordes. Then, I found a safe house at Disney land where I spent the next few days, but as food ran low, hostilities increased, so I killed everyone with my biotic laser ear and escaped on TT. After the zombies were killed off by the military, I was exiled for the destruction of America. Instead of leaving, I just killed the dictator with a rock. After that, I was exiled from earth and was sent to "Planet Pickle" and was crowned king. So one day I was given a jar of pickles for lunch and now I can't open it. Can anyone help me out?
Pickle the injury with pickle juice until it pickles into a pickling perfect puncture that's healing.
Ma'am, we cannot further help you of you do not accept out cucumber advice. Lol. Jk. Listen to him
All of you, FOOLS. You obviously grab a piece of lettuce then stuff it up your ass and sit on the jar. Pickles hate that stuff. More specifically, jars.