A ranger's Tale

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by *BunanzaTheBunny (01), May 26, 2011.

  1. The arrow sailed smoothly through the air and struck the man directly in the heart.He was dead before he hit the ground. Jake was a 21 year old ranger.He worked for the kingdom of Gorian,one of the largest cities in the country.Jake continued to walk stealthily towards the castle,his partner behind him.Their goal was to weaken the enemy before the king sent his troops to attack.So far, they had made it a mile into the cities land, taking out all guards on the way there.
     
  2. Love it please continue 
     
  3. They continued to pick off guards as they went farther into the cities territory.

    "We're going to get good pay for this." Jake said to his partner Lor

    "Yup, let's just be sure we get out of here alive." Lor replied

    They decided to stop where they were until the king's men came.After an hour or so, a scout did the three note whistle to signal that they were an ally.

    "The king would like to inform you that his forces should be arriving soon sir." The scout said.

    "Thank you."Jake replied, and gave the scout a small tip.The scout nodded and started to head back to the rest of the army.Before he could, an arrow went straight through his head, and he fell over.Dead.
     
  4. Spooky... He gets hit with a effen arrow in his head... ! Lol
     
  5. "Lets get the hell out of here!" Lor roared

    As we sprinted towards the woods, an arrow wizzed past my face. I kept on running, determined to get to cover.We made it safely, but then I saw the blood on Lor's leg.he let out a moan of pain as I yanked the arrow out with warning.
     
  6. without warning***
     
  7. without warning***
     
  8. Okay thanks

    I also feel that the scenes are a bit rushed,no detail
     
  9. "We have to keep going." I told Lar.
    I felt sorry for him, but if we stopped we would be killed.I half carried him deeper into the woods, until I found a hollow in a tree to hide in.It was damp and filled with 4 legged creatures, but it was the best we could do.

    "Get some rest, and I'll cover that wound up." I told him
    He grunted in reply, obviously in deep pain.The arrow had gone deep into the flesh, and the tip was still in.It was worst than I thought.I told him we needed to get the tip out and he braced himself, ready for the pain. I pulled it out and he let out a yell of agony.I gave him some water and disinfected an covered the wound.

    "Stay here" I told him"Im going to go check on those guards."
     
  10. Hey just keep it in third person kay?
     
  11. Darn IT.Fail on my part
     
  12. Jake's footsteps didn't make a sound as he snuck through the woods. When he started nearing the edge ,he began to hear yells and the sound of metal on metal. Then he saw the scene , and a grin spread over his face. The king had sent some of his troops to intercept the other guards! Jake brought out his bow and began firing at the enemy. The king's men saw who was shooting the arrows and kept fighting. After a few minutes of fighting , all of the enemies men were dead. The scene was bloody, but they had triumphed .

    "How did they find out we were here?"Jake asked.

    "We don't know, but we killed them all before they could tell anyone,but someone have to had heard us.". A warrior said.

    "Lets get going then." Jake said.
     
  13. Jake lifted Lor onto the carriage.

    "Please Jake, I want to fight!" Lor begged

    "Im sorry, but in this condition you can barely run, you've helped enough either way." Jake said"

    Lor stared at Jake for a moment, then nodded in approval. He was being sent back to Gorian until he recovered from his leg injury. His leg was swollen, and he limped when he walked.

    "Thank you, friend." Lor said

    "Anytime." Jake said

    Then the carriage began to move away.

    Gorian's Army,Jake,and some other archers sat around a large bonfire.
    "Men!" The military commander Joseph yelled." Today is the day we defeat Maldor!" The army yelled with approval.

    (Maldor is the enemy)
     
  14. "After tonight , Gorian shall be known, as the rulers of all land, the greatest kingdom in the world!" Joseph said.
    Jake had to admit, this guy sure new how to get a crowd going.

    "ONWARD!" Joseph said

    The battle plan was to have 2 groups flank Maldor on either side, driving them back.Then,a group of archers would suprise attack the Maldorians, leaving them trapped. The maldorians were known for their ruthlessness in battle, and their harsh tactics. The plan was dangerous, and if not done correctly could lose them the battle, but it had to be done.
     
  15. Jake and the rest of the archers took their positions in the trees. They were to wait until the Maldorians came to their area, than attack. If they weren't sucessful, the war would be lost. After what seemed like an eternity , Jake began to battlecries in the distance. The rest of the men heard it to, and began shifting in the trees. The Maldorians came into view , but they didn't see any of Gorian's men.

    "Keep your positions,and hold your fire." Jake whispered to the men. they nodded in agreement and turned to look at the enemy. They were coming closer. But at a closer glance , he realized that the sound wasn't battlecries. It was singing. The Maldorians had defeated Gorian.