Here's another story I made Hope you enjoy ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I didn't even know him. I've seen him before, but have never made as little as a conversation with him. Until that day, that treacherous day, when our lives changed forever. I was walking to school. I saw him walking ahead of me, and contemplated on whether or not to talk to him or just discretely walk behind him and not make a sound. I decided to just stay behind, I mean it would just be awkward anyways. That's when a black minivan pulled up beside him, grabbed him, and pulled him in. I raced to the car with all my might, yelling, "Stop! Stop!" To my surprise they did stop, but pulled me into their van and drove away with us screaming in the back seat. Eventually, they had to put tape over our mouths and handcuffs so tight I felt my warm blood trickle down my skin. The man and woman were in the front seat, laughing about how they couldn't believe they got away with it. I coudn't help but think I would never see my mother again, as I pass out and fall into the lap of the other captive. When I awake, he's staring at me with his beautiful green eyes. I sit up, and see nothing but a small room, a couple beds, and a T.V. around us. At first I was confused, but then I remember what happened at what seems like yesterday. "How long was I out?" I ask. "Well, a couple days. I was really worried about- Er, worried I would be left alone here." I felt butterflies in my stomach. "You know," I said. "I've never really talked to you, so I don't know your name." "I'm David," he said. "Alex," I said. Tears started to well up in both of our eyes. We sat there, crying, knowing we probably wouldn't see our families again. David decided to turn on the T.V. to help us get our mind off this. Not surprisingly, it turned on to the local news channel. "Two local teens, both aged 15, were recently filed as 'missing' earlier this morning," said the news anchor. "Wherabouts of them are unknown. One passing bystander spotted a boy getting pulled into a mysterious car, then a girl running after it and getting pulled in, too." All I can think is, wow, so someone saw getting abducted and didn't do anything? "Now we will go to George for weather on this gloomy day." Click. Just as David turned the T.V. off, an older-looking man walked into our small room, and threw a bag of fried chicken at us and yelled, "Go wild!" This happened twice a day every day. Two years later, never seeing the outside world, except on television, we're still in this claustrophobic room. I turned the T.V. on, hoping to find that they know where I am. Instead, I find that they're still at where they were two years ago. Making no progress. I just want to yell 'I'm right here! Take me home!" David and I are 17 now. I start crying, hoping he would come comfort me. He comes over, and gives me a hug. He pulls back, then look me in the eyes. His are perfect, green little jewels. He pulls me in closer and gives me a kiss. "I've wanted to do that for years." he said. "Me, too," I said as I hugged him tightly. Maybe...just maybe...this was fate. Another year goes by, with the same routine: wake up, turn the T.V. on, eat lunch, kiss a little, watch T.V., eat dinner, do some workouts, then go to sleep. While watching the news that bears the same thing as last year, he speaks up and says, "We need to escape. Get back home. I can't take any more of this undercooked slop they call chicken." I can't help but laugh a little. It's the first time I've laughed in years. "I'm with you, but how?" I say, "The doors are barred shut, there's no way of escaping." "But there's a shovel," he smiles. I look at the ground below me, and find that it is soft, mushy dirt. "Tonight," I say. We wait until our captors bring us dinner because we know they'll never come back that night. David grabs the shovel and starts digging. I start digging with my hands, since there's only one shovel. I start to see the glow of the moonlight from this huge hole we made. I crawl through it behind him, and find millions of stars surrounding us. I see the man walk out of the house, heading to the room we were held captive in. I tell David to run, and we sprint through the backyard, getting a safe distance away before he sees we're not there anymore. The last I hear from that man is him banging on the doors. David and I finally reach our houses. It turns out we have been next door neighbors, and didn't even know it. We look at each other, then start heading up to the front doors of our houses, wondering if our parents would recognize us. We exchange glances one last time across the lawn, and give a knock on the door. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I hope you all liked it! Give me feedback!
No offense but they seem really stupid. You've got a great writing style and the direction is okay...but there's no real detail. And their relationship is unnatural, especially as teenagers. And the kidnappers don't do anything...it's just so unrealistic. You know what I mean? Not trying to be mean, just sayin
But it's so...like, your other story. Some could relate and it had a connection to life. It was something people could picture. Its pretty good, by the way. But this one...I don't know...maybe it's just me. It seems like everybody is stupid in this story. No offense again.