An older man walk into a bar wearing a stovepipe hat, a waistcoat and a fake beard. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender gets the man his drink and asks "going to a party?" "Yeah, a costume party" he answers. "I'm supposed to dress in a manner that reflects my love life" Bartender: "But you look like Abe Lincoln?" The man answers "yeah, that's right. My last four scores were seven years ago."
I'm English and I got it. Foot's Aussie and he got it. Oh and: A guy walks into a bar.... Well that was careless....
The other joke... A guy walks into a bar and asks for a beer. Upon being served he chugs his beers immediately, then he looks into his pocket and asks for another beer. He chugs it again, then looks in his pocket and orders another beer. He does this over and over and over again. Finally, the bartender asks "Hey man, how come you ask for a beer, chug it, then look in your pocket?" The man answers "because there is a picture of my wife in my pocket and I ain't going back till she looks good enough for me to go home"