Intro- A Death To Be Told It was the end of the line. I was trapped, no way out. The walls were covered with acid, but they didn't burn. But I would die on impact. I quickly said my secrets, and let them burn with the acid. If you are wondering how I got here, I can't answer that... But I can say one thing. Millions of children and teens were captured, All put through the same death as me. I was strapped to the floor, and death was coming.All I can remember about this place is that I was walked down a long walkway. You could hear screams echoing down the wall. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a window, with a man in a white coat peering at me. I wouldn't go down without saying a few words."YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST DO THIS TO INNOCENT PEOPLE! LISTEN TO THE SCREAMS OF YOUR MURDERS! WHY! IS THERE A MEANING TO THIS? I HOPE YOU HAVE FUN STAYING AWAKE AT NIGHT!" , I screamed. The walls were close, closing in on my last seconds.As one of them touched my foot, it burned. I was at my death... AHHHHHH!
I would suggest some proofreading, and varying the sentence length/structure/word choice to eliminate repetition and make it sound more fluid. It's a good start so far, though! I'm interested in seeing what will happen next.
Chapter 1-Reborn I woke up in a strange room, with dim lighting and a ice cold feeling. My thoughts were gone, replaced by layers of code."How am I thinking code, not thoughts? Is something wrong with me?", was the only thing that came to mind. Something was different. My body felt heavy, like metal and my heart ticked like a clock. It feels like I'm in a movie, close to death. I heard footsteps, shoes clicking against the floor. Mocking me. They walked around, while I was strapped to a table. "Hello Subject #2739. I see your procedure went well. I'm here to help introduce you to society.", a female voice said kindly behind me."Where am I?", I asked."You, my dear, are at Londaon Hospital. Where you have been reborn...".
She's only giving you help - you're going to receive criticism if you post anything story related. Good story though.
Chapter 3- 1 I felt the cool table against my hand,It's metal feeling cool against my warm skin. My fingers explored it, curious of what it had to offer. I felt along, until I found a number. It had a line formation, so it was a 1. But why was that table there. It had been a few hours since the nurse last came. But it seemed like years. Long, painful years, cutting at my heart.