 my journey 

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by abs140, May 6, 2012.

  1. please dont be too harsh about my grammar spelling or punctuation (already have spell check on)
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    I tell dad, "No I'm totally not going on a trip... TO SEE HER  im not going!" i throw a pillow theta he has just sorted at him.
    "Well I don't care, you are going weather you like it or not!" dad shouted back I thought wow that was the first time he has ever shouted at me I was gobsmacked my jaw dropped about 10feet. I picked up my over the shoulder purple bag to match my purple jacket so I place the jacket between the handles and walked to the door.
    “PEARL JAMISON GET RIGHT BACK HERE I AM NOT FINISHED WITH YOU!”
    but doesn't he know that I am finished with him I run out the door that seems to be about 100 metres high like it's gonna eat me and slam it straight behind me I run out of the front garden and don't look back well I look back once and he stuck the fingers up at me. I thought hmmm he has been acting odd lately I wander what's eating away at him to make him act like that. I am now past Georgeieboyd street which means only a couple of mins to go now 'till I get "there".
    )()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()(
    thanks for readin please bump and I will update and feedback pleasebut not harse please ty 
     
  2. harsh *
     
  3. Use paragraphs and make sure your spelling is correct please
     
  4. flub read the top bit
     
  5. That wasn't harsh… 
    Anyway, he already said some of my feedback.
    Also, you should separate thoughts and sentences with commas and periods. Try to put thoughts in italics as well, it helps the reader know somebody is thinking.
     
  6. yeah about that how do you do different font ??????????
     
  7. and I meant the spelling bit at end of top bit  whoopsies
     
  8. There's a thread about it in Off Topic. 
    I'd put how but I absolutely fail at giving directions/instructions. sorry 
     
  9. ahahaha ok lol
     
  10. do you know what page cause there is 8484 topics 
     
  11. It should be in the guide section of the forums. Interesting, though you've got to be careful of homophones such as whether and weather.
     
  12. I meant Questions/Feedback ^~^
     
  13. yeah stupid homphones realised that when i posted it 
     
  14. okaaaaay thanksss also just realised i missed "o". Hey that looks like a face 
     
  15. if people write a reply (3 of 'em) then i will update. The update can be anything 
     
  16. im bored right now so i will update sorry if anything is spelled wrong its a mistake im still half asleep
     
  17. i was running, running somewhere that i didnl't know. Everything felt like 500ft bigger than. It is scary and it's getting late. OH NO! Where will I sleep I couldnt just become a hobo.

    so I search my pockets to see if there is any change. OH JACKPOT £1. I can call someone now I can't remember my friends numbers. Wait maybe my phone still has a lil' charge left... Yessss it has 25% left. I will phone jasminn.

    After a while of phoningally picked up the phone and practically burst my eardrums through a phone!

    Ally's mum was arranged to pick me up and she was now driving me to their house.
    "WOW YOUR HOUSE IS HUGE!" I breathed.
    "PEARLY!"Ally shouted. Ally is always excited at a frien- well practically anything to do with friends.

    She told me she could have her best jammies and gave me them to try on. So now we are lying at opposite ends on her massive bedroom couch.

    We are watching the movie so tell you later what happens next
    ------------------------------------------------
    Hope you all enjoyed this scene.
     
  18. thanks uv 
     
  19. didn't * messed uuuuup 