comebacks

Eat a dick up or shut the fuck up.

 

Or

Eat a dick up and shut the fuck up.

 

"so it comes down to this" works every time 

 

This is not funny, but when ever my friends are sad I say
"Well someone needs a happy meal"  cause well....I'm cool like that hehe 

 

My name is a comeback by itself.

 

is a comeback itself*

 

Mine is a swift punch to the face.

 

For girls:

The smartest thing ever to come out of your mouth was a penis.

For all genders:

How long did it take you to come up with that one?

I bet you were up all night trying to come up that one.

 

When i'm really pissed i just say-"Guess someone stopped breastfeeding early."
Or
"You'll never be the man yo mama is"

 

Mines
Bîtch please

 

Mine is, "Ha! I remember when I had my first beer!"

It's not the best one but I find it so amusing.

 

If anyone ever uses sarcasm and insults themselves:

Thank you for insulting yourself! Now I dont have too!

For me though, as I have glasses, I'm referred to as Harry Potter a lot.

'Harry potter has an 11" wand and makes magic happen" 