Short story (kinda dumb dont judge)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by *smiley234 (01), Mar 30, 2012.

  1. Have you ever been one of those people that said "no that could never happen to me" well that was me on that bright sunny day when I found out I was homeless, alone, and dead.

    Intro ended

    Did you like it? I know it's dumb but be nice please  should I continue? Probably not ...
     
  2. Please continue. 
    Bump! 
     
  3. I woke up in the pitch black darkness. The smell of decay damp in the air. I try to rise but my head hits the top of this thing I am in. I realize its a coffin. I start to hyperventilate as I realize my worst nightmares of being buried alive have come true. I kick the coffin realizing I have more strength than before. As a hole forms I get a face full of dirt, but I claw my way out of this 6" hole.
    When I am completely out of the whole I realize my skin is very pale and borderline transparent. I trudge along trying to comprehend what's going on, when a newspaper flys into my face, but my reflexes catch it before it even hits me. The title says "horrible suicide committed" I look below the heading and see a picture of me.
     
  4. Bump! Not dumb at all! No-one here will ever call a story dumb! 
     
  5. Bump! This is creepy! I like it!
     
  6. I drop the newspaper, completely dumbstruck as i try to remember what happened yesterday and the day before that. I honestly can't remember what happened before I woke up in that coffin. I feel a buzz in my head, as a voice speaks to me "my dear Alice, you have finally woken from your deep slumber"
     
  7. Should I continue or try a different story?
     
  8. Bump bumpy 
     
  9. I feel as if some one is probing my mind, as if they were searching for something that they couldn't find. The voice speaks again " ahh, you have locked your mind I see, but ahh it back fired did it not? Because you even locked it from yourself." I try to reply but it's impossible. It speaks again "I can help you Alice, but you must confide in me completely, leave From were you are and find Dimirti, he lives in a small apartment at the end of town. Number 13" it cuts off and I feel the release of his hold on me.
     
  10. I drop to the ground all of a sudden feeling exhausted. I have a feeling wash over me to close my eyes and just fall asleep. I hear a voice just as I am about to close my eyes, my eyes flutter open but can't stay open for long. I see him in that one short moment before I pass out, he is tall about 6'3 with light brown hair that almost covers his eyes. His eyes are dark brown and he has a muscular body, but just enough not to look threatening. I close my eyes and feel myself blackout.
     
  11. AMAZING story  continue please
     
  12. I like it! But I think it's going too fast? I dunno I guess mine is like long and I post once a day 
     
  13. Nice job so far!!!
     
  14. I open my eyes and look around, I see a dresser in the corner with a lamp and a briefcase sitting on top of it. I look to the right and see a closed closet door with a mysterious looking picture that I can't quite make out due to the lighting I am in. I am about to get up but end up rolling off the couch because I thought it was a bed. My fall makes a loud thump that gets even more personified bye the creaks in the wood flooring. I hear foot steps coming down the hall and right as I am trying to scramble up from the floor the light in the room turns on and I see him again. The one I saw before I blacked out, he was just the way I remember him,but better and he seemed off his guard almost relaxed. He had to have been off his guard because he wasnt wearing a shirt,which if I might say he looks very good without, he was also wearing plaid pajama pants. I get up quickly from the floor and say "thank you who ever you are for helping me" I put my hand out to shake his hand, but he doesn't take it and he replys "I'm sorry I don't shake hands with your kind" I gawk at him like he had just slapped me in the face. "I'm sorry but you have no idea who or what I am so you have no right to judge me! I don't even know your name!" I say at him partially yelling. "I am dimitri of Russia"
     
  15. Bump! AND BUMP OF THE DAY GOES TO Short Story 
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