Chapter 1 ~Present Day~ The sound of the wailing wind was coming through the slightly open window. Tanya stood up to close it, and as she did she looked at the orange leaves falling off the trees, there was a pile of leaves under several of the oak trees. Turning around she stared into the room she was standing in, her friends were looking stricken and panicked as they all watched Bella. Bella was lying their motionless on the hospital bed, so pale and frail, no one had seen her like that. Her fringe was damp wit blood where it had caught on the cut on her forehead. Tanya went over to her and gently out her hand over Bella's her usual warmth had been replaced by coldness, and her full bright pink lips were so pale today. Unable to see her friend in this condition Tanya looked away and caught Jake's eyes, they had the same question in them that she and all her friends were thinking and feared off. Is she going to be ok?
~1 Year ago~ "Why are you sending me away so far!" Bella's screams at her father, tears rolling down her flushed cheeks. "For your own good, to give you the chance at a bright future, sweetheart am doing this for you" her father says calmly moving towards her. Bella steps back and looks into his eyes, tears still rolling down her eyes, she says in almost a whisper "you're sending me away because I remind you of mom, aren't you?" she looks away not wanting to see his reaction. She feels her father stiffen at what she just accused him off, in her heart she felt what she said was true, she was a exact replica of her mother. She also knew this pained her father very much, it has been about 5 years now since she passed away, and the memory of her hurt both of them. Her father stood up and slowly walked towards the door, he lingered there a moment, she turned to watch him leave, he looked back at her and all he said was, "I loved her very much and I know she loved us and would want us to be happy, this is why I worry of your future." With that he left the room leaving an echoing silence surrounding her and her thoughts, she buried her face in her pillow and cried herself to sleep. A knock on the door woke her up, feeling groggy she started to open her eyes as she saw her bedroom door open. An old fragile lady walked in carrying a tray of food and juice, setting the tray down by Bella's bedside she sat down and stroked bella's hair. Bella slid her head into her lap and closed her eyes taking in her grandmother's lavender fragrance. "I don't want to go so far away and be away from you grammy" she said in a low tone tears dribbling down her face again. Her grandmother leaned down and kissed her lightly on the forehead. "Oh baby girl don't be upset, once you get there you will love it, and don't worry about me darling. This old thing still is fit and fine, and knows how to use Skype." they both giggled and laughed. "Now have your breakfast darling and get ready your flight to Oakland." Bella looked at her grandmother and realised this was it, her destiny was to go to Oakland, she scrambled up and spent the next 2 hours preparing to leave her home where she grew up in to go to an unknown place to her. Shifting from London to a place in California, which she had heard of over the news or on TV but had never thought to visit let alone live in, would be a big change in her life. Bella gave her boarding pass to the flight attendant and started think about the types of games destiny is playing with her. California had not been in her plans yet here she was being shipped off to Boarding school there. A guy cleared his throat behind her. Realising she was keeping up the queue she quickly moved forwards towards her seat, once found she got herself comfortable and plugged in her iPod. The guy that had been behind her took a seat next to her, he smiled at her as she did, unable to smile Bella closed her eyes and tried falling asleep. Bella is unaware of the events that are going to unfold in her near future and what destiny really held for her. (Apologies for grammatical and punctuational mistakes) Thanks Pri?
Not bad so far. My advice is to start a new paragraph every time someone new speaks, add detail, and proofread for spelling/grammar/punctuation/capitalization mistake.Also, the tense switched to present then back to past. Proofreading can help you catch that too.