Ring Of Fire

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by NeonQueen, Feb 10, 2012.

  1.  Love is a burning thing.. And it makes a fire-y ring. Bound by wild desire. I fell into a ring of fire.
    I fell into a burning ring of fire, I went down, down, down, as the flames grew higher, and it burns, burns burns. The ring of fire. 

    With a kick I knocked my knife loose from the dead man in front of me.
    I glared looking down at him in disgust.
    Next time don't bump me in the hall way you worm.
    I tucked my knife back in my pocket, the blood still fresh on it.
    Leaning down to the boy, I pulling his face up to him, I bit my thumb watching a trickle of my blood slide down my hand.
    Slowly I rubbed my blood onto my lips as if applying lip gloss, and leaned farther planting a bitter kiss on the boy's lips.
    I waited for a second before pulling away, and watched him as he eyes began to flutter.
    Now he would be like me, the very first love slave of Satan's daughter. And when I say "love" I mean he'll be my little toy until I'm done with him.
    I knew father told me to blend into the Hunan world, yet cause as much chaos as possible, before the end of the world, but I needed some help with that of course.
    The world would end in 24 hours on counting.
    I look down at my watch, then to the boy crying in pain before me.
    This was going to be fun.

    Bump?
     
  2. The title reminded me of Finding Nemo! 
    Bump!
     
  3. Then I pop in and bump this Shiz!
     
  4. CHARACTERS NEEDED

     Name

     Age

    ersonality

    pperance

     Good/Evil
     
  5. Ari
    17
    Kind caring and shy
    Long wavy brown hair green eyed
    Good
     
  6. Name: Raven
    Age: 18

    Personality: Sarcastic, usually keeps to herself unless somebody provokes her, then she'll cuss somebody out while using her extremely above average vocabulary. Artistic, has a beautiful voice. Paints, and carries a sketchbook everywhere with her.

    Appearance: Tall, slim, long black hair that reaches her waist, tan skin, grey eyes that turn black when she's emotional.

    Good/Evil: (Can she be stuck in between and unable to decide? If not, Evil.)
     
  7. Eliza
    17
    Personality: Very stubborn, quiet, smart, a bad temper, sarcastic

    Looks: Black hair with red streaks, right eye is dark blue, left eye is green, Hair covers left eye

    Acts evil at some moments but is actually good
     
  8. You still want criticism...? 
     
  9. Yes I do 
     
  10. Sigh....


    I hate critiscing but you asked for it...


    Proof read your story before sending it also get someone else to proof read to spot mistakes you didn't. Other than that great!
     
  11.  you were worried I'd take offense to that!? That wasn't even critic, that was a tip 
     
  12. THIS IS THE MOST HORRIBLE THING MY EYES WERE CURSED TO READ!!! 




















    Jk 
     
  13.  jeesh momma pie thanks
     
  14. Anytime  you said you wanted harsh criticism.

    You didn't say you wanted truthful criticism 
     
  15. B
    U
    M
    P
    ?