My Ghostpart one

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by xxSkittlezLovexx, May 23, 2012.

  1. One Day me and my friends had a sleepover at her house.All of us were watching Tv until we saw the tv channel change."Hey guys did u see that?"I ask."See what Leslie."Said Jamie.

    "Wait Leslie I think I saw it too."Says Brooke."Look guys your kinda making me super nervous!"says Amanda."Amanda their just pretending."said Jamie.

    But Later on we all felt a cold wind.It made me shiver."Guys did u feel that?"Says Jamie."yeah it felt like a cold wind."Said Brooke."Okay guys I'm really freaked out!"Says Amanda.Again the wind went by.Then we heard Glasses clinking together.

    We all new that Jamie's dad came in drunk and got more drinks and also came home with a sexy girl."Jamie I think your dad is home."I say."No he doesn't come home until like one in the morning."

    "Okay let's go check it out then!"Says Brooke."Hey guys I'm going to stay upstairs okay?"Says Amanda."Amanda your the only one scared!Stop being a chicken!"Says Jamie."Am not Jamie!"Says Amanda.We went downstairs to see What that noise was."Ahh!"screamed Brooke."what's wrong Brooke?"I ask.

    Like it?well comment!5 comments for part two!
     
  2. Your capitalization sucks. And there are too many "says..."
     
  3. She probally got eaten by the ghost or monster..... I hear they like girls whose names start with B