I'm gonna write a story, please comment and post CONSTRUCTIVE criticism... I don't mind All my stories are written as I go along and never written down before hand. Please don't be horrible and nasty as all I'm doing is writing a story. Thanks and enjoy! Zoe pov My dirty blond hair snagged on my denim jacket, my crystal blue eyes glistened in the warming sun light as I blissfully strolled down the narrow streets proceeding to my school. "Zoe!...Zoe!..." A familiar voice belted around the air It was Derek, me and Derek had been friends since primary. I loved him as a friend... Nothing more.
Derek pov There she was... Gorgeous Zoe, I love her and I wish she knew that. I shouted her name and she span round, she looked at me with her glistening blue eyes and perfect smile. I quickly ruffled my mousey brown hair and proceeded to walk over, she was 5'8 and I'm 6'2, she looked up at me and I looked at her with my piercing green eyes, I wish she loved me! "hey Derek" "hi Zoe" We walked to school together but I didnt say much... "Derek you ok?" She looked concerned and I nodded my head "you seem off" "I'm fine" Conversation was at a bear minimum but I was just so nervous!
Very good Jodie! you have it down. Some advice- •Put as much detail as you can, it's great. •A longer update couldn't hurt, but it's fine. •Maybe some extra wording? Bump! I love the plot though.