 Born Breaking Rules 

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by *_NicoleTheShortie_ (01), Jun 22, 2011.

  1. Intro

     Born Breaking Rules 

    Elise looked at her wall of her cell. I can't stand the sight of this place,she thought. She could hear a bell ringing in the distance. Lunch time. The door to her cell open. Matt and Gabby walked in. "Lunch time. Let's go!", Matt said, his voice full of happiness. Matt was always happy. As for Gabby, she was pretty content on being ok. Elise stood up, leaving her cell, Matt and Gabby right beside her. "Looks like another day stuck inside this place. When are they gonna see, WE'RE NOT MENTAL!", Gabby said, throwimg her hands up and bringing them down in defeat. Matt laughed. "I guess never.", He said, smiling. Elise and Gabby looked at him and they both quickly looked away. Matt looked down, seeing the akwardness he had just cause by such a simple gesture. Do the girls like me? He thought. He smiled smuggish. Matt was used to girls liking him, as he was handsom and funny too. Elise's thoughts were less optimistic. "Even if i did like him, my chances are slim with gabby around.", she said to herself. Thinking this, a frown was her main facial expression. Gabby, thinking of someone else completely, was thinking about her new cell neighbor who had came yesterday. They had talked and to her impression he had a thing for brainy girls which was exactly the type of girl she was. They all walked together, they're thoughts completely different but the same
     
  2.  lookin good :)
     
  3. *Their thoughts not they're thoughts. They're = they are. I also think you need to use quotes even when someone is thinking.
     
  4. I be sure to do that next time i post 
     
  5. No you dont. Quotes are for diologue, talking. Thoughts can just be put in.
     
  6. That's what i thought. But at the end i meant to put their.
     
  7. Single quotes around thoughts? There has to be a way to tell when the person is finished thinking.
     
  8. <3 It!!! Are they in a mental institution?! That place suits me >:] :D

    Physco Bytch ]£$$
     
  9. Or use Thought to make the thoughts stand out more instead of just putting them in .
     
  10. Oh also if ur taking characters more of them that is can i be in it .
     
  11. I like that idea Jennifer. What do you think OP?
     
  12. Thx Bonnie I seen it used in other books and thought that well That was a good idea to do with thoughts it was one of the things i like about books
    ~ Jennifer
     
  13. Yea just use italics for thoughts.
     
  14. Thanks for the suggestions... I guess. Maybe a little overwhelming.
     
  15. Part One

    Matt,Gabby and Elise continuted to walk down the long hallway into the hugh cafeteria. Gabby looked around. I hate how everyone is wearing the same thing , She thought. Elise lead the way into the line. "Mac and cheese and a apple. Punch and the same •••• we've been eating for like forever!", She commented loudly. Gabby laughed. "Yeah, like how we're all wearing these dumb all white clothes. Do they know that it's super hard to ketchup out of white clothes?!", Gabby said, being saractistic. They all laughed. They walked to their table, the "usual spot" is what it was called. "Elise", Matt started. "What do you think it's like outside?" Elise looked at Matt. "I have no idea", she said. "But whatever or however it is out there.....it's gotta be better than this piece of crap they call a mental facility." Gabby nodded. "We've been in here for almost 14 years now!", she commented. Matt was the only one who didn't say anything. He was in deep thought. "Matt?", Elise asked, concered now. "What if we didn't have to say in here?", he said quietly. "What if we broke out?" Gabby gasped and Elise grinned. "THAT'S THE BEST IDEA YOU'VE EVER HAD!!!!", Elise exclaimed. Gabby was shushing her. "What the •••• are you thinking? We can't do that!", Gabby said, looking at the both of them. "Yes we can", Elise said. Matt was nodding. "What about the security cameras and guards?", Gabby agrued. "Me and matt can handle the guards and you and that kid you like can help with the cameras and techy stuff!", Elise said excited. She was jumping up and down so much it seemed as if her spikey black hair was moving. "His name is Ryan.", Gabby said. This time it was Matt who spoke with a voice so serious, it didn't seem like it was him talking. "So are you in?", Matt said. Gabby nodded.
     
  16. MORE WILL BE POSTED LATER!!!
     
  17. .-. I like ur story tew because me ish evil